Discovered: The Secret Ingredient to Happiness is Ourselves!

As many of you know I am a positive psychologist and happiness coach-I encourage finding out what’s good about ourselves (rather than what’s bad), and seeing ourselves in a positive light. I teach how to understand your own needs and your talents, and how to do the work necessary to create a life full of happiness.

I’d like to share with you to a happiness process I developed from many years of observation, case studies, and happiness research.

In my happiness research I found that women are happy at least part of the time, but often dismiss their good feelings as just a blip on the ‘radar screen of life’. They also frequently lose their “good mood” as soon as someone criticizes or puts them down.

I began to realize that becoming, and staying happy requires a habit that can practiced and improved upon, and I developed a model called “The Enchanted Self” that shows how we can improve our happiness using something I call “Recipes for Enchantment.”

def. The Enchanted Self – the capacity to initiate positive states of being unique to our disposition and talents.

def. Recipes for Enchantment – the ways we’ve found to create happiness for ourselves that are unique to us.

The Enchanted Self is something you control, and you do it using “Recipes for Enchantment” that are unique to you.

Although there are many “Recipes for Enchantment” that most of us have in common, it’s important to remember that you are unique, and what makes you happy isn’t necessarily going to be the same as for the other people in your life. YOU are the “secret ingredient” in the recipe for creating your own happiness. As such, you must discover the unique things that enhance your happiness.

Here’s a “recipe” for discovering some of the unique things that make you happy…

Exercise: Recipe for Personal Pleasure

Give yourself a quiet space, a pad of paper and a pen, and permission to daydream. The world is your oyster. Plan out a day that is designed to make you happy.

– What would that day be like and what would you do?

– Where would you go?

– Who would be with you, if anyone?

– What would you see?

– How would you feel?

– What would you eat that day?

– What are some of the aromas that would please you that day?

– What would be the highlight of the day?

– How would you feel at the end of the day?

– Now you’re looking back on that day.

– What would you be most pleased about?

– What are some of the ingredients you would need to make this day come true?

– What could be three steps YOU need to take to get closer to experiencing a pleasing time right now? [Remember YOU are the main ingredient. ]

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