~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A
TASTE OF ENCHANTMENT: JUNE 2001 SPECIAL EDITION
Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Welcome
to the mid-month publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!
Each month I will focus on (and respond to) a question about enchantment
and/or a reader's ideas on enchantment.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"My
days seem mundane and I am not happy. I
am surrounded by negativity. How can
I turn my life around?"
Answer
THE
THREE R'S are: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, and Rapture. In the
following article I talk specifically about restoring yourself.
In next mid-month's issue, I will spend time talking about rapture.
RECIPE FOR ENCHANTMENT Part 2 - THE THREE R's: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, Rapture
By Dr.
Barbara Becker Holstein
If
you remember, last time I shared with you how necessary it is to develop mental
and emotional energy to live a life of meaning and joy. It is both the ways we
view our lives and the actions we take on a daily basis that lead to fruitful
living. The truth is, enchantment for most of us, i.e., living a life of joy, a
life that reflects many states of well being, is hard work.
How
do we take all the moments of life that are often repetitive and ordinary, and
turn them into captivating personal times? One
way is through optimizing our own sense of well being. This internal state is
particularly reactive to our emotional and physical states of health. For
instance, I remember occasions when good things were about to happen, but I was
so overtired or anxious that I could not appreciate a special day. I also
remember occasions when nothing happened, but because I felt well rested and
truly at peace with myself I enjoyed every moment.
How
do we work on restoring ourselves? How do we gather our positive energies to be
in our own best interest? Certainly one of the most critical factors is seeing
yourself in a positive light. If I don't truly value myself, I am certainly not
going to take good care of myself. I
am more responsive to the criticism from a negative spouse or parent than my own
inner feelings of self worth. I may not take good care of myself and the results
can be devastating. Over the years I
have seen so many clients who were not thriving because they had internalized
negative comments, criticism and opinions from others.
The end result was that they began to believe the negative perceptions of
themselves and ultimately saw themselves in a poor light.
It is
very important to see yourself in a positive light. This means not putting
yourself down and not criticizing yourself. It means becoming your own best
friend. Often taking better care of yourself becomes essential.
For all of us, it is important to get enough rest, eat well, learn how to
sort through the negative remarks that hurt, not get caught up and lost in the
feelings those remarks engendered, and to value who we really are and what each
of us has to offer the world.
This
"R" is extremely difficult and involves a lot of mental and emotional
perspiration. We are vulnerable to absorbing criticism and negative remarks
about ourselves and actually internalizing them, making them ours. So there is
much work to be done when we start to sift through feelings that we are less
rather than more. We need to think of ourselves as more, not less.
I
remember one client who had struggled to begin think of herself as more, not
less. Her husband was often critical of her and constantly interruptive. For
example when eating out he would often criticize her and spoil her pleasure by
suggesting she had put on some pounds and might not want to order a particular
item. Around the house he would
barge into a room and interrupt her telephone conversation or television show.
He would then bring up a subject in which she was presented as the
culprit.
It
was a wonderful day in her life when she was simply able to say when her husband
interrupted her, "I am leaving the house for a few hours.
I hope upon my return your mood will be better and you will be treating
me more appropriately." She
then took the car keys and went to visit a friend.
When she came back he was pleasant and in a totally different state.
Although this was only part of the correction between them, it was a momentous
moment in giving her a sense that not only must she think of herself as more,
not less, but she also must have the courage to take positive appropriate
action.
I
hope you'll take some time to now think about yourself and come up with at least
one or two ideas of healthy attitude changes or positive actions that will bring
you closer to a wonderful sense of restoring yourself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Please
give us the pleasure of sharing your responses.
They may be posted on the web site or in future issues of the newsletter.
You can also chat about this topic or create your own in The Enchanted
Self e-group at the following URL:
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ANNOUNCEMENT:
UPCOMING TELECLASSES FOR JUNE
I
will be offering two free sessions on "Creating Your Own RECIPE FOR
ENCHANTMENT". Anyone interested
should read a copy of my book, RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient
is YOU! which you can request from your local library, or order through www.amazon.com,
www.1stbooks.com, or my own web site or
your local bookstore.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
FORWARDING
& REPRINTING
(C)
2001 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All rights reserved.
Please
feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.
The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted,
reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided
the content is not changed and attribution is given including:
Dr.
Barbara Becker
THE
ENCHANTED SELF(R)
We
also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as
self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, we ask that you
contact us beforehand for permission and send us a sample issue.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
To
learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and
Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.
phone:
877-B-JOYFUL
fax:
732-531-1201
e-mail:
encself@aol.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~