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A TASTE OF ENCHANTMENT: May 2003 Special Edition


"Dedicated to helping you attain joy, happiness and well-being."


Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Steps-to-Happiness Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)




Welcome to the mid-month publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  Each month I typically focus on (and respond to) a question about enchantment and/or a reader's ideas on enchantment.




We dug into our archives this month and found a lovely Mother's Day article that we thought would be nice to share with you again.  We hope that all the Moms out there had a great day.  Enjoy!




Mother’s Day - Memories Are Made of This!

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


What a day for me today!  It was Mother's Day.  It also happened to be, because we observe the Jewish calendar, which shifts slightly each year, the day my father Dr. Harry A. Becker died, four years ago. 


Today, I missed my Dad's simple (although he was a complex man) love for me.  It was without question and he never faltered in his support of me or my projects.  He would have been thrilled to know that I write on the web weekly.  After all, he was proud of me when I was five and went outside and told the bully to leave me alone.  And he was proud of me when I stood up in front of my fourth grade class and told the story of the Tortoise and the Hare with expression and to teach a lesson.  And he made me feel things would be fine, even the night I called my Mom and Dad to report in, after I had been in a car accident.  Of course, he would have been proud and supportive of THE ENCHANTED SELF! 


Before we went to visit my married daughter, and her baby, named after my Dad, I found once again, a paper my Dad had delivered in Berlin, Connecticut, to retired Superintendents of Schools on June 7, 1989.  He was in his mid-seventies at the time. 


I'd like to share some of his words: "There was a time--it seems so long ago--I was so young that I was ashamed of my age.  At that time, I was enrolled in the Yale Graduate School.  I heard that Yale published a roster of graduate students.  The bad news was that in the roster, Yale not only listed the names of the graduate students, but also listed their ages.  I was so young that the prospect of my age being published terrified me.


I went to the Graduate Dean and said, “I understand that Yale publishes a roster of graduate students ... please sir, don't do this to me.  I am so young.  My classmates will think I am a baby.”


The Graduate Dean stared at me.  It was a cold, unsympathetic look.  “Mr. Becker," he said, "Yale has done this for 200 years.  I don't think we will stop now.”  Then the Dean noticed my pained expression and he added, “If it is any consolation, let me advise you.  If you survive, this problem will pass.”


Yes, for my Dad, the problem passed, as it does for all of us.  Today, I played with and made silly noises in response to the baby's noises.  I sat with my children, who had been babies themselves, just a blink of an eye ago.  I sat with a son-in-law I never knew until two years ago and yet already feel love for.  And I was with my husband--my best friend of so many years!


It was another moment in time--a precious moment that had a past and will have a future.  As my father said also in his paper, "every period in the human life cycle has a divine meaning.”  He quoted Browning: 

“Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be.

The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in His hand

Who saith “a whole I planned.

Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

My Dad would say, I believe if he were here, "Maximize your days, your dreams … your potential.  Make choices that are right for you.  Never give up.  Sometimes we have to try again and again.  Enjoy your family and friends and be kind.  Say hello, care and make an effort.  You can do it!"


Thanks for reading and sharing this day with me!




Please give us the pleasure of sharing your responses.  They may be posted on the web site or in future issues of the newsletter.  You can also chat about this topic or create your own in The Enchanted Self e-group at the following URL: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself




Please stop by my newly designed web site at www.enchantedself.com.  I would love to get your feedback.  You can email me at encself@aol.com.  Enjoy!


How to Order


To order my new version of RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! simply go to my site at www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm. It is inexpensive and fun!  You pick the script style and the cost is only $2.95.  Why not inspire a friend, relative or yourself this new year with a book that doesn't require getting to a book store or waiting for the post?


Don't forget to download your free gift!  Simply go to www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm




Forwarding & Reprinting


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Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein



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To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - An Educational Approach to Positive Psychology - please contact me or visit my web site.