The Enchanted Self           — by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


One important component of HAPPINESS is meeting our needs!  We all have to meet our own needs or we feel absolutely miserable.  You probably know someone who married and thought she would live happily ever after, only to find that her husband, in no way, met her needs.  She either learned to meet them for herself or she languished.  Sometimes they divorced, sometimes they didn't.  But always, the woman had to own for herself a strategy that helped her meet her own needs.  

Of course it is challenging when we find ourselves committed or obligated to a person, job or lifestyle that 'requires' us not to put our needs first.  Sometimes the challenge is to believe enough in ourselves to realize we can put our needs out on the table and still be accepted in that world.  Other times the challenge is to move on, and that may take years, but the result is the joy of coming home to your true self.  Sometimes the challenge is to go with our needs on the back burner for a little while, still organizing our thoughts and decisions so we can put ourselves first again.  Every case is different, as each of us is unique.  

You are unique, with talents, strengths and even untapped potential.  You are a precious Valentine, right now, today.  Whether you have someone,  'just right' in your life or not, you are still a perfect Valentine.  You are a person who deserves to be treated with love and care.    

Of course, your children and/or husband, boss, significant others are all important and should be treated with care and respect, but they are not more important than you. You are unique, with talents, coping skills and potential. You have the right to balance your life so that your needs can be met. 

— © Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

In private practice since 1981, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, psychologist and originator of The Enchanted Self, has committed to bring the keys of enchantment to the world.

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