Let’s move ahead to the publication of THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything.
How in the world as a psychologist as a psychologist and a writer, did I end up with my 4th book being fiction, designed for girls, tweens, teens, moms and women, and how does it dove-tail with THE ENCHANTED SELF, a Positive Therapy. (You may find my other books on Amazon and my website: www.enchantedself.com)
Let’s look at a poem in THE ENCHANTED SELF on page169, “Come my friend, my nurturer, my shadow, my knowledge of how whole I can be.” Who is that friend? Many years of practicing as a psychologist, have convinced me that, that nurturer, that shadow is our earlier selves. Often it is that self which existed inside ourselves between the ages of 8 and 12. We know that for many girls, 8-12 is a period of soaring, when girls feel competent and so sure of themselves.
If you know girls that age, you know how talented they are. They can and do everything. They also often have special private times, keeping diaries, or sharing intimate thoughts with best girlfriends. However, the teenage years do not always encourage or keep girls thriving emotionally and intellectually. The social and hormonal pressures of growing up block the earlier talents and potential. Adolescent years can be very hard on girls and many a woman finds herself no longer in touch with her earlier talents, strengths, potential or what makes her happy.
I began to realize that my next psychological assignment was to bring the girl inside of ourselves back to life.
I began to develop a companionship with the 10-11 year old inside myself. I began to realize that as an adult woman that I was disappointing her. I was not as confident or daring as I had promised myself I would be. Some of my poor decisions had restricted and limited the scope of my potential and opportunities. The girl I had been had known that the world could be her oyster. She wasn’t much afraid of anything and also had a lot of inner wisdom. She was resilient and determined. She had faith in me-the adult she would become someday.
Suddenly, getting to know myself as a child again was serious psychological business. It is somewhat painful to realize that one has short changed herself. Yet better to realize it now!
Then I began to think, how could I write a book that will just spark everyone? If you are a woman, it will make you want to dance with yourself and with your inner 11 year old and make her energies a part of yourself again. If you are a mom, you will see your child in a much more profound light. You will want to help her hold on to her wisdom, wit, sense of competency and self-esteem. If you are a kid or a tween, you will feel understood and connected to this fictional girl. After all, she is like you. She thinks about many of the things you think about and she makes promises about what she will be like when she grows up, just like you do.
So the character came alive. I felt a fictional diary was the way to go. The girl, as many fictional characters do, helped me write the book. She shared her frustrations and her competencies, and she even managed to solve a little around how she could hold on to the best of herself as she grew up. How she solved the mystery is so endearing, but I can’t give it away because I want you to read the book.
She has a crush. Haven’t most of us had crushes? I have clients and women in those in workshops as young as 5 years old, having crushes. And she says, “I am in love…I thought I would fall in love when I was much older, maybe 15 or 16 and she explains how she felt when Paul walked into the classroom, my heart felt like it turned over in my body, my pulse started to race and I couldn’t concentrate. I felt excited like I had a big secret….”
She also has secrets. She wants to know more about growing up. She wants to ask her mother questions like, “When will I need a bra?” but she can’t. “Whenever I try, she looks away and starts to fidget with her fingers. I never get the answers to my questions. Doesn’t she know how confused I am? How, I am supposed to ready to get older, if she can’t tell her everything she needs to know and she talks about her parents. Angelina is so lucky because she talks to her mother, Mrs. Allen.”
She asks, “Why do grown-ups fight over stupid things? I don’t get it. Before you know it, everyone’s mood is bad and the day is ruined….”
Yes, the girl sees so much and knows so much. And didn’t we all at 10 or 11? And wouldn’t it be great to hold on to the energy and confidence that can go with that stage of life? So that we all can live lives of integrity where we would keep similar promises to what the girl makes: “I’ll travel a lot. I won’t look away when my kids ask me tough questions. I’ll answer truthfully. I won’t swear. I won’t get into silly fights with my husband. I’ll have fun with my kids and laugh a lot. I’ll remember ME! And that’s the truth.”
So you see, I’ve come full circle with both books as a positive psychologist. I’m right back to the essence of the person. It turns out that the book; THE TRUTH (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is another way of teaching The Enchanted Self. When we come home to the ‘truth’ for ourselves then we are an Enchanted Self. We are happy; we have purpose. Our lives have meaning. We don’t disappoint ourselves. Whether you prefer the casebook or the fictional diary, it doesn’t matter. Just come home to yourself!
And by the way, that is exactly what I am still in the process of doing. Going back to the mystery book mentioned in the beginning, by Dr. Gay Hendricks, my latest fiction writing has turned another corner. Like Dr. Hendricks, I have moved the essence of the material I teach into a new setting. This time a fictional novel that takes place here and in Jerusalem. Actually what happened was a plot began to form and before I could send it away, I found myself sketching out a romance, mystery novel with a spiritual component. Natalie and Maggie came to life as the major characters, along with Chaya Sarah, the mystery woman. Soon I was up again late at night writing page after page of NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM, A Novel of Romance, Suspense and Spiritual Awakening. The book will be out on Amazon and Kindle by June of 2012. You can wet your appetite at www.next-year-in-jerusalem.com .
Does this book continue my work as a psychologist? Absolutely. Just watch my short videos on the above website as I discuss some of the issues the women face in the book and you will see I am still teaching and encouraging us to come home to ourselves! As someone wisely said, “Everyone else is taken.”