This is a critical component to general well being and a sense of happiness on a daily basis. Most of us have sustained loss and experienced pain. Yes, we’ve been hurt. We’ve been short-changed by opportunities or other people. Sometimes we’ve been stepped upon, left or forgotten.
If we spend our daily life focusing on these disappointments then we cannot release the positive energies we need to make the most of the present moment and to plan for the future. Grudges, negative thinking, disappointments, and not forgiving all get in the way of what can be done with the present. We need our psyche energies to seize opportunities we can take advantage of. This can’t happen, if our energies are used up ruminating.
Besides, there is beauty in our own story and most, if not all disappointments we’ve experienced have strengthened us. Often, we have even developed talents in coping with hard times that can reemerge in ways to enhance pleasure and/or help us be of service to the world. For example, the child that was neglected or yelled at has an opportunity to be particularly kind to others as he or she gets older, maybe to teach others certain parenting skills having known first hand how it feels on the other side.
I suggest you gather up the memory gems that make up your own life and begin to sift through them for the stories that are obvious and the stories you may have to dig for. The search will be well worth it. I encourage you to start to share the stories that are unique to your history. My husband and I still enjoy telling the story of when we got food poisoning. It was awful as it happened but hilarious to retell. And it connects us in a special way to our young married days, graduate school, a vacation that included camping and a ritzy hotel and of course best of all, the story connects us to ourselves!