The Enchanted Self


Mazel Tov! 

Dear Readers, This month we are going to talk about coming home to our selves. Mazel Tov! Yes, congratulations on coming home to yourself-that beautiful person that you are-from the inside out!

Do you know what Mazel Tov really means? Rather than simply meaning 'congratulations' or 'good luck' the expression loosely translated, more closely means 'May your life be true to your special essence, your unique spirit that has a purpose in living, never to be duplicated by anyone else!' Wow, that is an amazing difference from how we have come to accept Mazel Tov in common usage. 

Mazel is the special essence that makes you, you! Let's look a little at how we find our essence and ultimately our purpose in life. My years of seeing women in therapy, teaching women, and doing research with women, have convinced me that one way we reconnect with our Mazel is by finding the wondrous girl or at least energies that may have developed during girlhood, within ourselves once again. Of course, long ago we all knew her. After all, we were all 10, 11, 12, years ago. But where is her energy and vitality now?

Don’t you want to reconnect with the pure, unadulterated part of yourself . . . that voice inside yourself that displayed little or no cynicism? She was innocent, yet visionary. She knew how to play, and her imagination was boundless. She had courage and resourcefulness. She may have had her heyday inside of you at ten or eleven or even twelve—before all the ruckus of growing up began: the hormonal surges, the pressures from outside of yourself to look pretty, to flirt, to gossip, to not look too smart, to do anything to “be in” rather than just “be”. And then, later, came all the commitments: perhaps to marry, to have children, to work, to have a career, to run a house, to stay young looking . . .

Wouldn’t it be nice to find that part of yourself again? Wouldn’t you like to thumb your nose at the pressures of all those self-help books and the media that tell you to “just do this” or “do that” or “dress this way” or “plan your future that way” and, instead, review your own true wisdom and refuel your energies by getting in touch with the unique person that you are? 

During The Enchanted Self had conversation hours on the telephone about Finding Our Enchanted Selves, we have discussed in the last few months how to find our unique energies and work with them. Here are some different ways that the women on the calls were able to share their positive energies. 

One woman made clear that she was very much in touch with a special vital part of herself that she had even named Impy. She said, 

“Your books and your website bring out the playful girl, the imp within me, that I have named Impy. She came out of hiding and I feel happy. I needed her. I needed a way to bring to life again the special parts of me that can have fun, be mischievous, be daring, full of life, and joyful. Your Seven Gateways to Enchantment gave me a frame, a way to wrap my mind around what you are teaching and to give myself permission to have fun and to take pleasure as an adult woman.”

Another woman discussed how in her early twenties she was in touch with an energy and vitality that made her feel whole.  At that time she had the courage to do many things that she had promised herself she would do.  She had loved dancing since she was 5 years. So she joined two different dance groups. She also studied Yoga, public speaking and took a painting class. She found herself full of energy as she followed her positive impulses. 

Still another lady, who made clear that she had received criticism from her parents whenever who talents emerged, found that she had a wonderful year in her twenties when she took acting, studied voice, and took tango and jazz dancing. Her parents had interfered with her self-confidence and pride around her talents, yet still doing what she loved built her self-confidence.

As you can see, the first woman could actually bring to life her inner girl's energy and vitality that were her birthright. The other women were less aware of their passions connecting to earlier days, but they knew when they were in touch with what was right for them.

Coming home to ourselves, our Mazel, is a long journey. I believe we are helped by getting in touch with the passionate parts of ourselves and releasing them again. We can then harness our energies from the past and combine them with our present energy and wisdom. We may feel directly in touch with a girl inside of ourselves, or simply in touch with a feeling of heightened enthusiasm, courage, exuberance. That is usually a clue that you are coming close to your vital energies. Here is a simple exercise to do:

Scan your memory bank for a time when you felt a sense of heightened excitement and felt full of energy. What were you doing? What parts of yourself were most utilized? How did you feel during the activity? Later? How can you use this earlier event or activity to refuel your energy tank now? Can you still do the activity? If yes, do you want to do it? If no, can you modify it so you could do it?  

You may be interested in reading about the Seven Gateways to Enchantment, as they are the wisdom framework around which we harness our earlier energies. 
The first Three Gateways can be found here.


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