The Enchanted Self (R) Dedicated to helping you achieve joy, happiness and well-being.
About Dr. Barbara Enchanted Offerings Media & Press
Contact Dr. Barbara
Concepts & Philosophy
Feel Good Stories E-Book
The Enchanted Self
The Enchanted Self
Recipes for
Enchantment Book
Recipes for
Enchantment Excerpts

Earn While You Spread the Message of Enchantment by becoming an Affiliate.


Be an Enchanted Self Heroine.  Click here for details.

Enchanted Self Necklaces ... now available.

Enchanted Purses


These purses are meant to travel around the world with women who share their wisdom, special thoughts, hopes, dreams, and enchanted moments!

Listen to Dr. Barbara in a Free Tele-Class: Now That I Know I Have An Enchanted Self, How Can I Stay Healthy?

New Jersey Network's Public Television & Radio Click here and select show 63 to see a web cast interview that I did for


Click the First Play Button to Access the Latest
Audio Show on





Click the Play Button below to learn all about Enchantment in less than Five Minutes!



FREE Greeting Cards and Messages for You


Be notified of new shows, guests, topics & special announcements by subscribing to The Enchantress Within Newsletter.


Click here to subscribe to THE ENCHANTED SELF - a bi-weekly newsletter and receive a free set of greeting cards!



Enchantment in an E-mail - Mid-April 2005
Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein,
Psychologist, Happiness Coach, and Originator of

Welcome to the mid month issue of The Enchanted 
Self's e-newsletter! The following is what 
you will find in this month's issue. 
- Share Your Enchantment!
- Announcements & Ordering information
  includes "Special Offer for Subscribers"
- E-group: Connect with others like you!

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Dear Readers,   We are almost at the end of the 
Passover week.  For some Jewish people, enough is 
enough and they can't wait until the Matzo box can be 
put away.  For others, this is a vacation week of 
delight, visiting good friends and seeing family.  For 
still others, Passover is something they either by 
choice or misfortune are not celebrating.  For me, it 
is a time of reflection and fun.  My family had few 
traditions, but one of them was Passover.  The same for 
my husband.  He loves the holiday.  Ironically, one of 
our grown children is highly involved in the holiday, 
the other is not!  Wisdom is recognizing that we each 
seek our own level of comfort and become true to 
ourselves!  That's what we will talk about now. 
Remember I had mentioned that the Jews had three ways 
of surviving when they were slaves?  The first was that 
they kept their own names, even if in public they were 
called by other names, the second was that they kept 
their own language, which allowed them a perception of 
their world which was unique to them. The third way was 
that they kept their own standards for dress.  Let's 
look at the way we dress metaphorically. Each of us 
needs to have some harmony with the people in our 
lives.  Obviously, if I dressed everyday living in the 
suburbs in a fantastic gown I might feel awkward going 
to the office and/or make others feel uncomfortable.  
On the other hand, I also have to be true to myself 
even as I interpret the customs and flavor of dress 
that goes with living in New Jersey.  I am entitled to 
a personal dignity as I move my body from spot to spot. 
 For example, I have chosen not to wear slacks to work 
and even outside.  I really like the way I feel in a 
dress or a long skirt.  It works for me!  
When the Hebrews were slaves, perhaps their dress helped 
them maintain some sense of dignity and self respect, 
even though they were working as slaves.  As we work 
our way through our own Egypt, sometimes looking for a 
way to maintain a personal dignity is subtle and 
infiltrates many more areas of our lives than just 
dress.  it is more subtle, the kind of dignity that we 
are working for. 
I am thinking of a client who was an artist.  She also 
is part of a family. Actually her family is seldom if 
ever really interested in her art.  In essence she has 
had to find ways to her own dignity. She has had some 
wonderful moments of dignity. One was on a boat when 
they were traveling as a family for vacation. It was 
sunset and she took out some of her pastels and a piece 
of paper and she just sat with herself and the sun 
going down and had the most beautiful artistic half an 
hour.  She made sure that no one else violated that 
time. This was for her alone.  On another occasion she  
took a special weekend course in Philadelphia at a 
museum.  This involved a lot of negotiating, convincing 
her husband that he would be fine all weekend alone 
without her!  Of course he was, and she again 
established a sense of personal integrity that stayed 
with her for a long time.

I remember my friend told me of the friend who had 
juggled the furnishings of her house a great deal, 
moving all the pictures on the wall, putting up ferns 
that brought in more oxygen, putting chimes in certain 
windows and just having the joy of  'dressing' her 
house in a new outfit!   These are both examples of 
women who remained part of their 'tribes' be it family 
or home, yet found ways to create dignity, integrity 
and pleasure in their lives 
So here we all are in the middle of our own Egypt, 
getting ready to exit, to cross the sea of reeds.  
Courage-you can make it!  
Let's take a couple of minutes to look at what you need 
to know about yourself in order to comfortably make it 
through the sea of reeds, the Red Sea, to get to the 
other side and start your journey toward your promised 
First of all you need to know that you are entitled to 
joy and pleasure and a state of well being, You're 
entitled to a life that gives you dignity and sense of 
pleasure. Secondly, you are responsible to recognize 
what gives you pleasure and joy. Actually it is a big 
responsibility because no one else can tell you what 
will turn you on. We all know in a general way what 
pleases ourselves and each other, but only you know 
whether you'd rather go to a basketball game, have a 
gourmet dinner, join a charity and give free time to a 
soup kitchen or just go to sleep early. Only you know 
Another thing is that you need to take some time 
recognizing how you unique you really are.  Imagine you 
went out in your backyard and you found a beautiful 
diamond.  You might say, "Oh this is great, maybe I can 
get $5000 dollars for it, maybe I'll give it to my 
wife, maybe I'll make it into a necklace." 
But if you lost that diamond your life isn't ruined. 
Now if you went out in the backyard and suddenly one 
morning you discover the most giant rock. It's 
exquisite. It is so beautiful we can't even put into 
words what it looks like.  All sorts of colorations, 
all sorts of shading, it glimmers, it shines. You can 
look inside of it and gaze in pleasure forever.  And it 
is very, very valuable, so precious that you will have 
to take care and guard it the rest of your life. You 
can't just leave it in your backyard. That would be 

Well that rock is a metaphor for you. You are more like 
this absolutely, unbelievable precious giant jewel than 
you can imagine! 
However in order to get to know ourselves and see all 
the shadings and uniqueness about ourselves, we have to 
become convinced that we are special.  I hope this 
article, as well as the last two helped you feel some 
of your uniqueness.  Remember who you are-your talents, 
your strengths, your coping skills, your humor, even 
your lost potential.  Remember and honor yourself as 
you move toward your personal freedom! 
I hope you will share some of your personal stories of 
finding ways to honor and treasure yourself as you 
build pleasure, joy, dignity and integrity into your 
life!  Write to me at 

Share Your Enchantment!

Share your positive stories and questions about
enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self
readers around the globe!  Our twice monthly e-zine
focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of
almost 2,750 people from the US, Canada, Australia,
the United Kingdom, and many other countries!
Please send stories, comments, and questions to



Special Offer for Subscribers

Lots of readers ask me how to really start to find 
their Enchanted Self. What is the best way? One ideal 
path is to read Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret 
Ingredient is YOU! and also listen to the cassette of 
CD version of THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy.  
These two together really get you going. 
Recipes for Enchantment is a collection of enchanting 
and motivational short stories and the follow up 
exercises which allow the reader to relate the messages 
to their own experiences.
The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, shares that we 
live joyfully when we learn how to use our memories to 
retrieve our talents, strengths and even our lost potential. 
The result is a joyful re-inventing of ourselves in ways 
that uniquely suit us and our circumstances. You will 
also enjoy listening to me as I share lots of people's 
stories, including my own. I am excited to offer you this 
package so that soon you will be having so many more 
"enchanted moments". 
The combination is simply irresistible!
As a spring special I am eager to send both to you at 
a reduced fee. The cost for the book, Recipes for 
Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! and the 
cassette set of The Enchanted Self is $23.00 including 
postage.For the book, Recipes for Enchantment, The 
Secret Ingredient is YOU! and the CD version of The 
Enchanted Self, the cost is $27.00 including postage

Both are greatly reduced. I really want you to have them!
You can send me a check at 170 Morris Ave., Long Branch, 
New Jersey, 07711 or call me at 1-732-571-1200 and order 
by credit card.  

This is really too good a bargain to miss out on! I'll 
even throw in a secret little gift as a surprise. For 
more information and ordering please email me at

e-Radio Magazine

I am thrilled to announce that I now have an e-radio 
magazine, of course called THE ENCHANTED SELF. You can 
hear my monthly magazine by going to and look for THE ENCHANTED SELF.   
This month's edition is ACTS OF KINDNESS.  I 
have on amazing guests, come and listen!

New Books and More!

I am thrilled to annouce the birth of two new Enchanted 
Self babies! Both are doing well and both are eager to 
come and play at your house! The first is Feel Good Stories, 
a book filled with laughter, wisdom and the human-side of 
life as only Bernice Becker, my wonderful Feel Good mom of 
85 can write for us! It is the first Enchanted Self Book that 
is not written by me! Will your wonderous thoughts be one 
of the future books?  
Anyway, come and look at her book, read an excerpt and 
hear her, by going to
The second new baby, DELIGHT, is my baby-kicking up a 
storm as my journey of growth both emotional and spiritual 
is shared with you. And she isn't leaving until you come 
along! This is a CD-rom. You put the CD-rom in your 
computer-read my book, hear my voice, hear music and 
see wonderful art. This is a treat.  Please go to for 
more information. 
For all information on ENCHANTED SELF products go
E-group: Connect with others like you!

Find out "what's right with you--not what's
wrong!" Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" 
Membership is free and you will have access to our 
on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and 
more.  It's a great way to connect with others who 
are exploring, creating and sharing their own 
positive and satisfying lives.  See you there!

Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many
enchanted moments!

Forwarding & Reprinting
(C) 2000-2004 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All
rights reserved.
Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone
who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter
is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or
distributed in whole or part without prior
permission, provided the content is not changed
and attribution is given including:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
I also encourage you to include this material in
other publications, such as self-healing and
professional psychology newsletters. However, I
do ask that you contact me beforehand for
permission and send a sample issue.

To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - An
Educational Approach to Positive Psychology, 
please contact me or visit my web site.
phone:  877-B-JOYFUL
fax:    732-571-1100

If you should ever need to un-subscribe to 
The Enchanted Self mailing list, send an 
e-mail message to 
with the following in the body of the 
message: unsubscribe More_Happiness  
To unsubscribe successfully, the e-mail must 
come from the same e-mail address that you 
signed up with.

Call Dr. Barbara, Read her E-letter, or Buy her Book, The Enchanted Self, at


E-mail Dr. Barbara  ·  E-mail Web Mistress  ·  Site Map  ·   Home

This is best viewed with Microsoft Internet Explorer at 800 X 600 pixels.

THE ENCHANTED SELF® is a registered trademark of Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein.
© Copyright THE ENCHANTED SELF 2000-2004. All rights reserved.