Enchantment in an E-mail - Mid-April 2005
Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein,
Psychologist, Happiness Coach, and Originator of
THE ENCHANTED SELF®
Welcome to the mid month issue of The Enchanted
Self's e-newsletter! The following is what
you will find in this month's issue.
- Article: BEING TRUE TO OUR PRECIOUS SELVES
- Share Your Enchantment!
- Announcements & Ordering information
includes "Special Offer for Subscribers"
- E-group: Connect with others like you!
BEING TRUE TO OUR PRECIOUS SELVES
by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Dear Readers, We are almost at the end of the
Passover week. For some Jewish people, enough is
enough and they can't wait until the Matzo box can be
put away. For others, this is a vacation week of
delight, visiting good friends and seeing family. For
still others, Passover is something they either by
choice or misfortune are not celebrating. For me, it
is a time of reflection and fun. My family had few
traditions, but one of them was Passover. The same for
my husband. He loves the holiday. Ironically, one of
our grown children is highly involved in the holiday,
the other is not! Wisdom is recognizing that we each
seek our own level of comfort and become true to
ourselves! That's what we will talk about now.
Remember I had mentioned that the Jews had three ways
of surviving when they were slaves? The first was that
they kept their own names, even if in public they were
called by other names, the second was that they kept
their own language, which allowed them a perception of
their world which was unique to them. The third way was
that they kept their own standards for dress. Let's
look at the way we dress metaphorically. Each of us
needs to have some harmony with the people in our
lives. Obviously, if I dressed everyday living in the
suburbs in a fantastic gown I might feel awkward going
to the office and/or make others feel uncomfortable.
On the other hand, I also have to be true to myself
even as I interpret the customs and flavor of dress
that goes with living in New Jersey. I am entitled to
a personal dignity as I move my body from spot to spot.
For example, I have chosen not to wear slacks to work
and even outside. I really like the way I feel in a
dress or a long skirt. It works for me!
When the Hebrews were slaves, perhaps their dress helped
them maintain some sense of dignity and self respect,
even though they were working as slaves. As we work
our way through our own Egypt, sometimes looking for a
way to maintain a personal dignity is subtle and
infiltrates many more areas of our lives than just
dress. it is more subtle, the kind of dignity that we
are working for.
I am thinking of a client who was an artist. She also
is part of a family. Actually her family is seldom if
ever really interested in her art. In essence she has
had to find ways to her own dignity. She has had some
wonderful moments of dignity. One was on a boat when
they were traveling as a family for vacation. It was
sunset and she took out some of her pastels and a piece
of paper and she just sat with herself and the sun
going down and had the most beautiful artistic half an
hour. She made sure that no one else violated that
time. This was for her alone. On another occasion she
took a special weekend course in Philadelphia at a
museum. This involved a lot of negotiating, convincing
her husband that he would be fine all weekend alone
without her! Of course he was, and she again
established a sense of personal integrity that stayed
with her for a long time.
I remember my friend told me of the friend who had
juggled the furnishings of her house a great deal,
moving all the pictures on the wall, putting up ferns
that brought in more oxygen, putting chimes in certain
windows and just having the joy of 'dressing' her
house in a new outfit! These are both examples of
women who remained part of their 'tribes' be it family
or home, yet found ways to create dignity, integrity
and pleasure in their lives
So here we all are in the middle of our own Egypt,
getting ready to exit, to cross the sea of reeds.
Courage-you can make it!
Let's take a couple of minutes to look at what you need
to know about yourself in order to comfortably make it
through the sea of reeds, the Red Sea, to get to the
other side and start your journey toward your promised
First of all you need to know that you are entitled to
joy and pleasure and a state of well being, You're
entitled to a life that gives you dignity and sense of
pleasure. Secondly, you are responsible to recognize
what gives you pleasure and joy. Actually it is a big
responsibility because no one else can tell you what
will turn you on. We all know in a general way what
pleases ourselves and each other, but only you know
whether you'd rather go to a basketball game, have a
gourmet dinner, join a charity and give free time to a
soup kitchen or just go to sleep early. Only you know
Another thing is that you need to take some time
recognizing how you unique you really are. Imagine you
went out in your backyard and you found a beautiful
diamond. You might say, "Oh this is great, maybe I can
get $5000 dollars for it, maybe I'll give it to my
wife, maybe I'll make it into a necklace."
But if you lost that diamond your life isn't ruined.
Now if you went out in the backyard and suddenly one
morning you discover the most giant rock. It's
exquisite. It is so beautiful we can't even put into
words what it looks like. All sorts of colorations,
all sorts of shading, it glimmers, it shines. You can
look inside of it and gaze in pleasure forever. And it
is very, very valuable, so precious that you will have
to take care and guard it the rest of your life. You
can't just leave it in your backyard. That would be
Well that rock is a metaphor for you. You are more like
this absolutely, unbelievable precious giant jewel than
you can imagine!
However in order to get to know ourselves and see all
the shadings and uniqueness about ourselves, we have to
become convinced that we are special. I hope this
article, as well as the last two helped you feel some
of your uniqueness. Remember who you are-your talents,
your strengths, your coping skills, your humor, even
your lost potential. Remember and honor yourself as
you move toward your personal freedom!
I hope you will share some of your personal stories of
finding ways to honor and treasure yourself as you
build pleasure, joy, dignity and integrity into your
life! Write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Share Your Enchantment!
Share your positive stories and questions about
enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self
readers around the globe! Our twice monthly e-zine
focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of
almost 2,750 people from the US, Canada, Australia,
the United Kingdom, and many other countries!
Please send stories, comments, and questions to
Special Offer for Subscribers
Lots of readers ask me how to really start to find
their Enchanted Self. What is the best way? One ideal
path is to read Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret
Ingredient is YOU! and also listen to the cassette of
CD version of THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy.
These two together really get you going.
Recipes for Enchantment is a collection of enchanting
and motivational short stories and the follow up
exercises which allow the reader to relate the messages
to their own experiences.
The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, shares that we
live joyfully when we learn how to use our memories to
retrieve our talents, strengths and even our lost potential.
The result is a joyful re-inventing of ourselves in ways
that uniquely suit us and our circumstances. You will
also enjoy listening to me as I share lots of people's
stories, including my own. I am excited to offer you this
package so that soon you will be having so many more
The combination is simply irresistible!
As a spring special I am eager to send both to you at
a reduced fee. The cost for the book, Recipes for
Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! and the
cassette set of The Enchanted Self is $23.00 including
postage.For the book, Recipes for Enchantment, The
Secret Ingredient is YOU! and the CD version of The
Enchanted Self, the cost is $27.00 including postage
Both are greatly reduced. I really want you to have them!
You can send me a check at 170 Morris Ave., Long Branch,
New Jersey, 07711 or call me at 1-732-571-1200 and order
by credit card.
This is really too good a bargain to miss out on! I'll
even throw in a secret little gift as a surprise. For
more information and ordering please email me at
I am thrilled to announce that I now have an e-radio
magazine, of course called THE ENCHANTED SELF. You can
hear my monthly magazine by going to
http://www.ladybuglive.com and look for THE ENCHANTED SELF.
This month's edition is ACTS OF KINDNESS. I
have on amazing guests, come and listen!
New Books and More!
I am thrilled to annouce the birth of two new Enchanted
Self babies! Both are doing well and both are eager to
come and play at your house! The first is Feel Good Stories,
a book filled with laughter, wisdom and the human-side of
life as only Bernice Becker, my wonderful Feel Good mom of
85 can write for us! It is the first Enchanted Self Book that
is not written by me! Will your wonderous thoughts be one
of the future books?
Anyway, come and look at her book, read an excerpt and
hear her, by going to http://www.storiestofeelgood.com
The second new baby, DELIGHT, is my baby-kicking up a
storm as my journey of growth both emotional and spiritual
is shared with you. And she isn't leaving until you come
along! This is a CD-rom. You put the CD-rom in your
computer-read my book, hear my voice, hear music and
see wonderful art. This is a treat. Please go to
For all information on ENCHANTED SELF products go
E-group: Connect with others like you!
Find out "what's right with you--not what's
wrong!" Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers"
Membership is free and you will have access to our
on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and
more. It's a great way to connect with others who
are exploring, creating and sharing their own
positive and satisfying lives. See you there!
Have an "enchanting" month. I wish you all many
Forwarding & Reprinting
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