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"Achieving Positive States of Mind and Body Again and Again"

Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , Psychologist, Life Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)


Welcome to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

         Quote of the Month

         Blessing of the Month

         Recipe for Enchantment

         Article: Life: The Greatest Ride of All

         Exercise: Heightening Our Experience of Pleasure

         Announcement 1: New Book on the Horizon: RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT - THE          SECRET INGREDIENT IS YOU!

         Announcement 2: Enchanted Self E-group

         Announcement 3: Positive News Network & Womensnet


Quote of the Month

"Depression does tremendous damage.  Use every ploy you can think of to bring yourself to joy." 

            -- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

Blessing of the Month

May learning always have the sweetness of a special treat for you.

Recipe for Enchantment #5

There was once a man who had suffered terribly.  His life had been a series of disappointments and personal losses, yet he always appeared joyful and was pleasant to everyone.  One day, someone asked him, "you have suffered so much, yet you are always in a good mood and with a smile on your face.  I don't understand your response.  Can you explain it?"  The man simply responded, "it feels better."

This issue is simply about the gift of letting ourselves feel better.  Try this recipe:

Take one activity that you really enjoy doing and do it ANYWAY, regardless of your present circumstances.  Let's say, you love to get a massage, but you have felt down in the dumps and don't feel somehow that you deserve it.  DO IT ANYWAY!

Or, perhaps, you love to socialize with friends but have been preoccupied with worry because a family member is ill.  Make yourself call the friends and get together.  DO IT ANYWAY!

Over the next month, do three activities that you enjoy but may not feel totally entitled to. These 'DO IT ANYWAY' activities will slowly simmer in your brain as permission for a joyful attitude toward life.

Article: Life: The Greatest Ride of All

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Life is the greatest roller coaster ride we will ever take.  The ups and downs, the unexpected changes, the twists and turns, are all a part of living.  The roller coaster ride of life can be miserable and uncomfortable or exciting and rewarding.  Our states of mind and body are key factors in how we handle these changes.  The problems of life do not go away magically.  We have to consciously work on making our lives more positive and joyful.

Once in an ENCHANTED SELF workshop, one woman related a story about her Thanksgiving dinner. She had recently suffered a painful and unexpected breakup with a boyfriend.  Although she was experiencing grief, she had a strong inner desire to reclaim her sense of self and move forward with her life.

It was interesting to hear her speak about the family meal. As she looked around at her extended family seated at the table, she became filled with love and felt the love reflected back towards her. It was then that she made a conscious choice to stay focused in the moment, to remain in a loving state and to share that love with those around her.

There were some inner struggles during the course of the evening because Thanksgiving held poignant memories for her involving her ex-boyfriend.  When these memories surfaced, she deliberately chose to put them aside. After the family gathering, she confidently exclaimed, "I won!"

Her conscious decision to remain in a positive state of being, coupled with the feelings of love that she felt toward everyone, were the most critical factors in staying focused in the moment.  She had triumphed because she did not succumb to feelings of depression and pity.  Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when she clicked her heels and said, "there's no place like home," she realized that the things she was searching for -- strength, love and happiness--could be found in her "own backyard."

The support and love that comes from our family and friends, as well as the inner strength we develop when we get to know and accept ourselves, was right there.

We will always tussle with dark thoughts and the negative sides of our personalities.  Sometimes there will be unpleasant events in our lives, but we can choose not to let these things invade our sense of self-dignity and worth.  When we make conscious choices about how we will respond to difficult situations, we feel empowered.  For that moment we are in charge of our destiny.  Nobody ever said that achieving positive states of mind and body was easy, but then again nobody ever said it was hard.  It's a matter of focusing on the positive, and self-education.

Positive memory retrieval is the tool that enhances our ENCHANTED SELF journey.  Reaching a positive state of inner and outer harmony is the essence of THE ENCHANTED SELF.  One way of reaching this state is to give love and support to our selves and to others.  Let's make this year a year of growth, peace, harmony and shared optimism.

Exercise: Heightening Our Experience of Pleasure

This exercise is designed not only to help you remember and validate positive aspects of your past, but to emphasize the need to stay more attentive to positive happenings in the present that may precipitate pleasure.

Were there moments in your childhood when you felt particularly happy?  These moments can be from any age -- from your earliest memories through young adulthood.  When you find a golden memory, savor it.  See yourself at that age and experiment with letting different senses reconnect to that happy time.  

         What was going on at that moment?

         What were you feeling inside?

         How did your body feel?

         Were there any aromas?

         How did things look around you?

         How were you acting?

         What was the weather like?

         What was the scenery like?

         Were you with anyone?

         What was it like to be with that person?

Take time to really enjoy this happy memory.  Now scan your memory bank and the most recent past to see if you can think of one thing that you enjoyed doing in the last week.  Give yourself permission to relive through your memory that pleasant time.  Again, use all of your senses to reconnect you with that wonderful experience.

Announcement 1: New Book on the Horizon: RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT - The Secret Ingredient is YOU!

My new book will soon be published through First Books Library at http://www.1stbooks.com.  It will soon be available at all bookstores. In fact, I just sent back the second set of galleys, so we are very close.  I will keep you posted on how you will be able to purchase it through this newsletter.  Information will also be posted on my web site as it becomes available.  The following is a summary of what you will find in Recipes for Enchantment:

Come meet two street children from Brazil who profoundly influenced, for the good, a sophisticated American woman.  Read about Sal, a soldier suffering from an almost fatal wound, miraculously saved by love letters.  Meet Joey, a young boy so sick with cancer that his family was losing hope, whose condition dramatically improved when a teacher simply did her job.  You will meet all these people -- and many more -- in Recipes for Enchantment: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!  Their stories will inspire you. They will help you realize that by acting in positive ways, we can all make a difference.

This is a breakthrough book, gracefully interweaving psychology/self-help with inspiration. There's one basic recipe: combine unique positive thoughts and feelings with positive actions.  Do this every day, and the rest will take care of itself--as if by magic!

For a sneak peak at the book go to my web site at http://www.enchantedself.com.  

Announcement 2: Enchanted Self E-group

You are invited to become an active participant in Enchanted Self activities through our e-group at http://www.egroups.com/groups/encself.  Once you sign up and become a member you will have access to The Enchanted Self on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and much more.  I encourage you to take advantage of this free opportunity to connect with myself and other Enchanted Self members, as we explore the joys of a positive and satisfying way of life.  Join us to find out "what's right with you -- not what's wrong!"

I will soon be announcing on-line chats and other Enchanted Self events.  I will also send out a note to you that explains how you can get the most out of all of the e-group features.  Now would be a great time for you to sign up and start to learn about how you can benefit from joining our "enchanted" on-line community.

Announcement 3: Positive News Network & Womensnet

I'm excited to share with you that I am now a weekly writer for PNN, The Positive News Network.  You can find my first article posted this week at http://www.positivenewsnetwork.net/barbara_b_holstein.htm.  The Enchanted Self column will appear every Thursday. 

I have also become a guest writer for http://ww.Womensnet.net.  You can find me under the 'Related Articles' section of The Soaring Spirit under the Body & Soul Channel at http://ww.womensnet.net/channels/body_soul/main_fs.html.

Both sites are great and I am blessed to be connected to them.


Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!



(C) 2000 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


We also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, we ask that you contact us beforehand for permission and send us a sample issue.


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.