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"Achieving Positive States of Mind and Body Again and Again"

Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , Psychologist, Life Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)


Welcome to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

Recipe for Enchantment #16

First what should not go into this Recipe for Enchantment--do not place in your simmering saucepan any of the following:

Why?  Because all of the above and many other negative effects are the secondary gains that terrorists want to achieve.  Destruction of life and property is not all they are after.  This is exactly the time to go into your Enchanted Kitchen and cook up a storm!  Let courage and faith in our shared potential for a positive future come through.

Here are some suggestions for ingredients to add:

This list could go on and on.  Let it.  Let's cook up the greatest storm of positive energy and determination that this great nation has ever known!

Article: Is THE ENCHANTED SELF Transformational? Part 2

This is the follow up article to the one you received one month ago.  The following explains more about why I chose the name THE ENCHANTED SELF, how we are all warriors as we strive to live a more positive life day to day, and how renaming yourself as an adult can give you more freedom to live an enhanced positive life of meaning.  Enjoy!

"What made you choose the expression THE ENCHANTED SELF to encourage positive states of mind and body?"

You may be wondering why I chose the term THE ENCHANTED SELF.  One reason is that I discovered that even though many of us grow up with longings for fairytale dreams to come true, we find as we age that our real happiness comes from within ourselves.  Hopefully, we each realize what aspects of life truly give us pleasure and how to incorporate them into daily living.  In essence, the enchanted forest is never found but if we are successful at living, we come home to enchantment within our own beings.

I use the term ENCHANTMENT to also imply several other factors:  One is the mystery of life.  No matter how much we analyze why we enjoy certain activities or people or places, ultimately there is some magic in bringing the right elements together so that we experience 'positive states of being, again and again.' 

Also, as we practice positive thinking and positive action, we in a sense, cast a spell on ourselves, learning ways to stimulate, practice and reinforce certain attitudes and behaviors that lead to more frequent positive experiences.  I don't mean 'spell' in a witchcraft sense, but simply in terms of stressing the practice of positive patterns in daily living.  I use this choice of language to add a little spice and richness to the mental health vocabulary.

Yes, as I shared with you last month, transformation is what THE ENCHANTED SELF is all about.  It starts with a paradigm shift, whether in the treatment room or in daily living.  My first book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, explains via case studies of my clients, women I researched not in my practice, and my own journey, how transformation plays itself out.  Exercises at the end of each chapter help the reader begin the journey for herself, whether she is a therapist or not.

My second book, RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! is designed differently.  Via inspirational stories, from my own life, stories sent in by readers and follow-up journaling activities, the reader is encouraged and has plenty of space to begin her transformational journey.

Yes, THE ENCHANTED SELF is really a life-enhancing perceptual shift.  It is transforming if you work with the perceptual shift to really get to know yourself all over again in positive ways.  You become Mistress of your ship, no longer controlled by earlier messages and perceptions of the world and yourself, given to you by others. You are encouraged to look at your talents, your potential, and what gives you pleasure.  You may even decide to rename yourself in a way that really works as a thriving adult.

Is this easy?  No, it is hard.  It takes work.  Everyday we go out into battle, often with ourselves, our negative perceptions of ourselves, and the patterns of thought and behavior that get us down or in trouble. Every ordinary day is where we really become warriors and fight our important battles. 

It is in the day to day living that we win our battles also!  We get to practice positive attitudes rather than negative.  It is in ordinary living that we have a chance to react to our children, our friends, and our lovers in a kind manner, rather than falling into patterns of negative remarks and criticisms.  It is in daily life that we can allow enough time and energy for our talents and potential to come through.  It is in daily life that we can see ourselves and others in a positive life, notice what gives us and others pleasure, come closer to people rather than isolate, take the time to learn how to express our true feelings and ... I could go on and on! 

Is all of this tough?  You bet.  Is it transformational?  Absolutely!  Is it worth doing?  I think so.  It certainly transformed me!

Perhaps one of the most transformational moments in THE ENCHANTED SELF journey is when you can rename yourself.  This adult renaming frees one from old labels that limit you and often make the person feel bad and even depressed. A new name can be as simple as 'warrior' or 'healer' or 'friend'.  For me, it was in part ... a listener, a teacher, a communicator and a student.

(This article was written before the World Trade Center tragedy.  In light of that, I would like to add that my current names includes anguisher--I'm not sure that is a real word, but it is a real feeling--, survivor and a believer in good!)

Sometimes for fun I call myself THE ENCHANTRESS. By this I mean the holder of wise knowledge who passes it on to others with positive intent and energy.  Certainly, that it what I am trying to do at this moment!   Please let me know how this article affected you and ask me questions!  Thanks.

Exercise: Give Yourself a Positive Name

In light of the tragedy at the World Trade Center , what positive name would you like to give yourself?  Are you a 'lover' of humanity?  a 'teacher'?  a 'healer'?  a 'supporter' of good over evil?  Are you a 'volunteer'?  Are you a 'person' with a heart?  Are you a 'weeper'? 

There is no right or wrong here.  You, as I, may have so many parts of yourself that come alive at a time like this.  Honor them.  Give them credit.  They are what makes you so special and so alive!  Even deep tears and cries of anguish are so meaningful.  They signify that we suffer and we feel and we protest!

Give yourself a hug and at least three other people--just for feeling and caring and trying and being alive!

How to Order RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!

Get the e-book at www.1stbooks.com for $4.95!  You can also order hard copies with your credit card.  Anyone wanting an autographed copy can order via www.enchantedself.com/ordering1.htm.  A free copy of my paper newsletter and bookmark are included for just $9.95 plus $4.00 shipping and handling.  You can also order from Amazon at www.amazon.com or Barnes & Noble at www.bn.com.  Use keywords "recipes for enchantment". 

Announcement: October Chats & Tele-classes

Look for a separate announcement on these upcoming Enchanted Self events:


To Register ...

If you are interested in any of these free opportunities, please send your name to Rebecca Trelfa at rebecca@enchantedself.com.  The only cost to you is a phone call for tele-classes.  Online chats are completely free.

If you have already registered you will be asked to confirm your registration via e-mail.  Upon registration and confirmation, you will receive further information and instructions for joining the group via e-mail.

E-group: Connect with others like you!

Find out "what's right with you -- not what's wrong!"  Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself.  Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and more.  It's a great way to connect with others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and satisfying lives.  See you there!

Share Your Enchantment!

Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe!  Our mid-month e-zine focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of over 600 people from the US , Canada , Australia , the United Kingdom , and many other countries!  Please send stories, comments, and questions to rebecca@enchantedself.com.

Quote of the Month

"Don't be sad and dopey"

-- Wise words spoken by a three year old. Let us not forget what this little girl knew by instinct: that our job on earth is to be both joyful and wise!

Blessing of the Month

May you walk in peace and have the courage to brush aside fears that evil stirs.  May you have the wisdom to remember what gives you pleasure and what you wish to contribute to the world.  May you have the strength to give these gifts to yourself and the world.  We need you! 


Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!



(C) 2001 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.      


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.