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"Achieving Positive States of Mind and Body Again and Again"

Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein Psychologist, Life Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)


Welcome to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

·         Quote of the Month

·         Blessing of the Month

·         Recipe for Enchantment

·         Article: The Communal Sharing of Enchantment

·         Exercise 1: Successfully Connect with Others

·         Exercise 2: Enhancing the Human "Touch" of Communication

·         Announcement 1: New Book on the Horizon: RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT - THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS YOU!

·         Announcement 2: Enchanted Self E-group


Quote of the Month

"Nothing is as liberating as joy.  It frees the mind and fills it with tranquility."

           --Attributed to Rebbe Nachman of Brelow

Blessing of the Month

May your true song come through.

May all your days be full,

as if with songbirds,

and your nights as if with nightingales.

Recipe for Enchantment

This is a recipe for a full and satisfying life:

  1. Take quiet time in the morning.

  2. Drink lots of water.

  3. Eat at least three times a day.

  4. Smile a lot.

  5. Love your body and use it everyday.

  6. Respect and be with nature.

  7. Be kind and practice seeing people in a positive light.

  8. Give something good back to the world everyday.

  9. Thank someone, God and/or the universe at least once a day.

  10. Get enough sleep.

  11. Have big dreams about yourself.

  12. Add here what you need everyday - your special ingredient - a laugh, a conversation with a friend ... or?

This recipe can be reused indefinitely.  It will always have a unique flavor based on the day. 

Article: The Communal Sharing of Enchantment

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Experiencing The Enchanted Self is unique to each person.  Yet the shared positive experience is an extremely important part of the enchantment.  What would our world be like if everyone learned how to tap into their Enchanted Self (their positive states of mind and body)?  I think, a more positive world, a place where people would communicate in a friendly manner, respectful of one another's uniqueness and feelings. 

Have you encountered people who exude confidence and a sense of well being?  Have you left the encounter feeling happier and more positive?  Perhaps the next person you met had the opportunity to catch some of that positive energy.  The truth is we all catch each other's moods and reactions.  People often talk about how a smile brings on a smile.  When we connect with our Enchanted Self, the joy and confidence we feel spreads to others.  It becomes important to learn how to actually bring our positive states of being to the surface in such a way that others are encouraged to join in.

Certainly we all respond better to enthusiasm and praise than disparaging comments and criticisms.  Unfortunately, most of us are already experts on negative thinking and harmful criticism.  Being in a good mood and then finding one's self in a negative situation is a difficult spot to be in.  How quickly a positive state of mind can be interrupted! 

For instance, we may be in a wonderful mood only to enter the workplace or home and be met by a scowl, a frown, or negative remark from a coworker or family member.  How quickly one's positive state of well being can dissipate.  For example, if I walk into the house in a good mood and my mother, or my wife, or my husband, immediately barrages me with a list of things that I didn't take care of, or criticizes me for chores I didn't accomplish to their satisfaction, I will find the experience a clear interruption of my positive state of being. 

However, if someone were to gently say, "Can you give me a few minutes?  I want to go over some of the chores we had agreed to split," or "I want to check with you as to what has been done or what has not been done," then I may be able to maintain not only my state of well being, but be in a good enough mood to help improve the other person.

A speaker once compared giving constructive criticism to that of a sandwich.  The first slice of bread is telling the person something honest and positive about that person.  The filling consists of gently leading into a suggestion or sharing ones' feelings about how something is being done.  The second slice of bread again finishes with positive reaction or remark to that person. 

How desperately most of us need to practice the art of positive criticism.  Learning to communicate effectively to maintain each other’s integrity and self esteem goes a long way toward creating and spreading positive, productive energy.

Exercise 1: Successfully Connect with Others

This is a very simple communication exercise that requires the consent and cooperation of a partner.  Begin by allowing the other person to talk about something important to him or her for at least three minutes.  The topic can be anything: their opinions about a complicated subject; their expert knowledge in some field; an anecdote about something that happened in the past; or their personal feelings about something or someone. 

After you have listened, give back only positive feedback. This is not easy, as we often find it easier to be an 'expert' in criticism.  However, it greatly enhances our mood to receive positive feedback. Reverse roles, and allow yourself to talk for three minutes, uninterrupted.  Now it is your turn for positive feedback.  I can guarantee it feels better than criticism.  Try it.  You'll like it!

Exercise 2: Enhancing the Human "Touch" of Communication

This September pick a day and have the fun of creating a special meal with family or friends.  Carefully set the table.  You could even put a flower vase in the middle or use a cloth table covering.  Perhaps you could also start the meal with each person giving a blessing or stating a positive feeling about being together.  Stretch and be generous of spirit -- maybe you could invite the neighbor that would never expect to be included.  During the meal tell positive stories about the 'old' days or share funny stories about growing up.  The immediacy of this type of human 'touch' can turn an ordinary day into an enchanted one.

Announcement 1: New Book on the Horizon: RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT - The Secret Ingredient is YOU!

My new book will soon be published through First Books Library at http://www.1stbooks.com.  Within another month it will be available at all bookstores. I will continue to keep you posted on how you will be able to purchase it through this newsletter in the future.  Information will also be posted on my web site as it becomes available.  The following is a summary of what you will find in Recipes for Enchantment:

Come meet two street children from Brazil who profoundly influenced, for the good, a sophisticated American woman.  Read about Sal, a soldier suffering from an almost fatal wound, miraculously saved by love letters.  Meet Joey, a young boy so sick with cancer that his family was losing hope, whose condition dramatically improved when a teacher simply did her job.  You will meet all these people -- and many more -- in Recipes for Enchantment: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!  Their stories will inspire you.  They will help you realize that by acting in positive ways, we can all make a difference.

This is a breakthrough book, gracefully interweaving psychology/self-help with inspiration. There's one basic recipe: combine unique positive thoughts and feelings with positive actions.  Do this every day, and the rest will take care of itself -- as if by magic!

For a sneak peak at the book go to my web site at http://www.enchantedself.com.

Announcement 2: Enchanted Self E-group

You are invited to become an active participant in Enchanted Self activities through our e-group at http://www.egroups.com/groups/encself.  Once you sign up and become a member you will have access to The Enchanted Self on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and much more.  I encourage you to take advantage of this free opportunity to connect with myself and other Enchanted Self members, as we explore the joys of a positive and satisfying way of life.  Join us to find out "what's right with you -- not what's wrong!"

I will be announcing on-line chats and other Enchanted Self events during mid-September.  I will also send out a note to you explaining how you can get the most out of all of the e-group features.  Now would be a great time for you to sign up and start to learn about how you can benefit from joining our “enchanted" on-line community.


Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!



(C) 2000 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


We also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, we ask that you contact us beforehand for permission and send us a sample issue.



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To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.