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ENCHANTMENT
IN AN E-MAIL - SEPTEMBER 2000
"Achieving
Positive States of Mind and Body Again and Again"
Produced
by Dr. Barbara Becker
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Welcome
to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!
The following is what you will find in this month's issue.
·
Quote
of the Month
·
Blessing
of the Month
·
Recipe
for Enchantment
·
Article: The Communal Sharing of
Enchantment
·
Exercise
1:
Successfully Connect with Others
·
Exercise
2:
Enhancing the Human "Touch" of Communication
·
Announcement
1:
New Book on the Horizon: RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT - THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS YOU!
·
Announcement
2:
Enchanted Self E-group
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Quote
of the Month
"Nothing
is as liberating as joy. It frees
the mind and fills it with tranquility."
--Attributed to Rebbe Nachman of Brelow
Blessing
of the Month
May
your true song come through.
May
all your days be full,
as
if with songbirds,
and
your nights as if with nightingales.
Recipe
for Enchantment
This
is a recipe for a full and satisfying life:
Take
quiet time in the morning.
Drink
lots of water.
Eat
at least three times a day.
Smile
a lot.
Love
your body and use it everyday.
Respect
and be with nature.
Be
kind and practice seeing people in a positive light.
Give
something good back to the world everyday.
Thank
someone, God and/or the universe at least once a day.
Get
enough sleep.
Have
big dreams about yourself.
Add
here what you need everyday - your special ingredient - a laugh, a
conversation with a friend ... or?
This
recipe can be reused indefinitely. It
will always have a unique flavor based on the day.
Article:
The Communal Sharing of Enchantment
by
Dr. Barbara Becker
Experiencing
The Enchanted Self is unique to each person.
Yet the shared positive experience is an extremely important part of the
enchantment. What would our world be
like if everyone learned how to tap into their Enchanted Self (their positive
states of mind and body)? I think, a
more positive world, a place where people would communicate in a friendly
manner, respectful of one another's uniqueness and feelings.
Have
you encountered people who exude confidence and a sense of well being?
Have you left the encounter feeling happier and more positive?
Perhaps the next person you met had the opportunity to catch some of that
positive energy. The truth is we all
catch each other's moods and reactions. People
often talk about how a smile brings on a smile.
When we connect with our Enchanted Self, the joy and confidence we feel
spreads to others. It becomes
important to learn how to actually bring our positive states of being to the
surface in such a way that others are encouraged to join in.
Certainly
we all respond better to enthusiasm and praise than disparaging comments and
criticisms. Unfortunately, most of
us are already experts on negative thinking and harmful criticism.
Being in a good mood and then finding one's self in a negative situation
is a difficult spot to be in. How
quickly a positive state of mind can be interrupted!
For
instance, we may be in a wonderful mood only to enter the workplace or home and
be met by a scowl, a frown, or negative remark from a coworker or family member.
How quickly one's positive state of well being can dissipate.
For example, if I walk into the house in a good mood and my mother, or my
wife, or my husband, immediately barrages me with a list of things that I didn't
take care of, or criticizes me for chores I didn't accomplish to their
satisfaction, I will find the experience a clear interruption of my positive
state of being.
However,
if someone were to gently say, "Can you give me a few minutes?
I want to go over some of the chores we had agreed to split," or
"I want to check with you as to what has been done or what has not been
done," then I may be able to maintain not only my state of well being, but
be in a good enough mood to help improve the other person.
A
speaker once compared giving constructive criticism to that of a sandwich.
The first slice of bread is telling the person something honest and
positive about that person. The
filling consists of gently leading into a suggestion or sharing ones' feelings
about how something is being done. The
second slice of bread again finishes with positive reaction or remark to that
person.
How
desperately most of us need to practice the art of positive criticism.
Learning to communicate effectively to maintain each other’s integrity
and self esteem goes a long way toward creating and spreading positive,
productive energy.
Exercise
1: Successfully Connect with Others
This
is a very simple communication exercise that requires the consent and
cooperation of a partner. Begin by
allowing the other person to talk about something important to him or her for at
least three minutes. The topic can
be anything: their opinions about a complicated subject; their expert knowledge
in some field; an anecdote about something that happened in the past; or their
personal feelings about something or someone.
After
you have listened, give back only positive feedback. This is not easy, as we
often find it easier to be an 'expert' in criticism.
However, it greatly enhances our mood to receive positive feedback.
Reverse roles, and allow yourself to talk for three minutes, uninterrupted.
Now it is your turn for positive feedback.
I can guarantee it feels better than criticism.
Try it. You'll like it!
Exercise
2: Enhancing the Human "Touch" of Communication
This
September pick a day and have the fun of creating a special meal with family or
friends. Carefully set the table.
You could even put a flower vase in the middle or use a cloth table
covering. Perhaps you could also
start the meal with each person giving a blessing or stating a positive feeling
about being together. Stretch and be
generous of spirit -- maybe you could invite the neighbor that would never
expect to be included. During the
meal tell positive stories about the 'old' days or share funny stories about
growing up. The immediacy of this
type of human 'touch' can turn an ordinary day into an enchanted one.
Announcement
1: New Book on the Horizon: RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT - The Secret Ingredient is
YOU!
My
new book will soon be published through First Books Library at http://www.1stbooks.com.
Within another month it will be available at all bookstores. I will
continue to keep you posted on how you will be able to purchase it through this
newsletter in the future. Information
will also be posted on my web site as it becomes available.
The following is a summary of what you will find in Recipes for
Enchantment:
Come
meet two street children from
This
is a breakthrough book, gracefully interweaving psychology/self-help with
inspiration. There's one basic recipe: combine unique positive thoughts and
feelings with positive actions. Do
this every day, and the rest will take care of itself -- as if by magic!
For
a sneak peak at the book go to my web site at http://www.enchantedself.com.
Announcement
2: Enchanted Self E-group
You
are invited to become an active participant in Enchanted Self activities through
our e-group at http://www.egroups.com/groups/encself.
Once you sign up and become a member you will have access to The
Enchanted Self on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and much more.
I encourage you to take advantage of this free opportunity to connect
with myself and other Enchanted Self members, as we explore the joys of a
positive and satisfying way of life. Join
us to find out "what's right with you -- not what's wrong!"
I
will be announcing on-line chats and other Enchanted Self events during
mid-September. I will also send out
a note to you explaining how you can get the most out of all of the e-group
features. Now would be a great time
for you to sign up and start to learn about how you can benefit from joining our
“enchanted" on-line community.
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Have
an "enchanting" month. I
wish you all many enchanted moments!
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FORWARDING
& REPRINTING
(C)
2000 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All rights reserved.
Please
feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.
The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted,
reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided
the content is not changed and attribution is given including:
Dr.
Barbara Becker
THE
ENCHANTED SELF(R)
We
also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as
self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, we ask that you
contact us beforehand for permission and send us a sample issue.
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SUBSCRIPTIONS
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To
learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and
Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.
phone: 877-B-JOYFUL
fax:
732-531-1201
e-mail: encself@aol.com
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