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"Achieving Positive States of Mind and Body Again and Again"  

Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , Psychologist, Life Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)  


Welcome to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  The following is what you will find in this month's issue.  

Recipe for Enchantment #25

For Summer's Pleasures ...

Plant three rows of peas:

  1. Peace of mind

  2. Peace of heart

  3. Peace of soul

Plant four rows of squash:

  1. Squash gossip

  2. Squash indifference

  3. Squash grumbling

  4. Squash selfishness

Plant three rows of lettuce:

  1. Lettuce be kind

  2. Lettuce be patient

  3. Lettuce really love one another

To complete your garden, you must plant some thyme:

  1. Thyme for each other

Weed and water as necessary to enjoy the 'fruits' of your labor!

-- Adapted from Sephardic Image Magazine, New York 's Jewish Sephardic Monthly Magazine, June 1, 2002 , p. 110, poetry by Deborah Tweena

Article: Replanting Earlier Seeds of Growth

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

When I was twenty I had the opportunity to spend the summer traveling in Europe .  One of the highlights was the two and a half weeks I spent in Athens , Greece .  My friend and companion, Jane Rolnick, made arrangements for us to live with a Greek family in Athens .

Colonel Frangos was a retired military officer.  He lived in the ancient section called Placa.  He and his adult niece made us comfortable and entertained us.  We were introduced to several other Greek families, including a family whom had a daughter our age, named Maria, and another family with two sons about our age. 

Every night we met the other families around 8 or 8:30 pm at a local tavern for a leisurely dinner that lasted approximately three hours.  The evening was filled with laughter, story telling, good food, fresh air, wonderful aromas, and music.  There was a sense of high spiritedness, which lifted my own spirits.  Here I was, a twenty-year old, without a single connection to Greece , suddenly being welcomed as part of an extended family.  I was not only made comfortable, but to feel special and of value.

Remembering those balmy long summer evenings, there were several factors that helped me to feel so special.  Of course, I was on vacation, but more importantly, I was with people who genuinely wanted to reach out and take their time getting to know visitors. 

They lived a simple lifestyle that permitted them to converse, joke, and have fun.  Not much money was spent, but they connected with each other.  Colonel Frangos had no television and we did not go to the movies or to a nightclub.  Rather, we sat in a simple open-air restaurant, hour upon hour, talking and singing.  The delight came from being together and sharing time and space in a way that made everybody feel whole.  Other factors, like taking an afternoon nap so that we were all fresh and ready to go at night, helped us to feel good.

With sadness, I left Maria, Colonel Frangos and the others.  Even at twenty, I knew that they had introduced me to a type of shared time that I was hungry for.  However, I did not know how to bring this pleasure back when I returned to my senior year in college. 

I have searched for this shared time, a “communal moment of being,” all through my adulthood.  Our culture has made it difficult.  We eat on the run, talk on the run, and often try to communicate with televisions blasting in the background.  Yet, when

I do achieve that sense of communal being, I feel hopeful about life.  This experience is so intense and rewarding, other factors like job pressures or health concerns, take a back seat for the moment.

Having people visit on Friday night for a Shabbos meal has been one of my gateways to this communal and sacred space.  No longer are we doing errands or watching television on Friday night.  Sitting leisurely in our own dining room, often with friends, no matter how simple the meal, has put me back in to the mind set similar to what I experienced in Greece .  I am with people who care about me, are interested in the conversation, and eager for down time.  Time is of no consequence, except that it goes too quickly.  I want this space to last forever when it is happening.

Sometimes it still surprises me that this space exists today in New Jersey , as it did in Athens so many years ago.  Sometimes, I also still get surprised when I let go of this space and forget to use it.  Then I am surprised at the pain that sets in so quickly in my heart.  Believe me, heartburn is more than poorly digested food--it is a lifestyle that is poorly digested!  I need to savor and enjoy enough of my life space so my heart beats comfortably in my being.  I bet you also benefit from emotional 'heart' relief.

Fortunately for all of us, life is a marvelous system of energy between people and events.  My wish for you and for me is to allow ourselves the pleasure of building positive situations that allow renewal, fun, and a sense of shared belonging.

For 'heart' relief I try to remember the way I felt in Athens .  I hold on to that wonderful feeling of total ease that I felt about myself.  I remember feeling totally good enough and valued just for my companionship.  I didn't have to compete or prove myself--my laughter, my conversation, my gaze, my attention and interest in the others were all enough.  I remember feeling energized even on hot, sticky days.  I remember the music in the taverns giving me an uplifted sensation as I ate olives and drank a little wine late at night.  I remember the sense of vitality that surged through me--I would never grow old or sad!  Yes, there was magic in the air and the ways I felt.

Remembering the actual details--letting them actually be in my mind/body system again--helps already to confirm to me that I still have all the talents and capacities necessary to find those wonderful sensations again.

I may be older and I may sometimes be sad, but my gift of enchantment to myself is to get back to living a life of well-being, where joy and connection are active components.

Does it take practice?  Of course, but it is worth it to live a life that reflects ENCHANTMENT*.

*For those of you not that familiar with my expressions, the way I feel when I have this sense of shared communal being is what I call THE ENCHANTED SELF, a state of well being, joy, positive connection and meaning  that I am able to achieve repeatedly.  My mission in life is to share with you the knowledge, tools and inspiration necessary so that you can too!

How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more

How about some autographed copies of 'Recipes for Enchantment' with a free copy of The Enchanted Self's paper newsletter and a bookmark?  Perhaps you would be interested my first book, 'The Enchanted Self', which is also available on audio tape?  Here are some ways to order:

Tip: When shopping online use keywords "recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.

E-group: Connect with others like you!

Find out "what's right with you--not what's wrong!"  Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself.  Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and more.  It's a great way to connect with others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and satisfying lives.  See you there!

Share Your Enchantment!

Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe!  Our mid-month e-zine focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of almost 700 people from the US , Canada , Australia , the United Kingdom , and many other countries!  Please send stories, comments, and questions to encself@aol.com.

Quote of the Month

Experience Everything

"To be a medicine man you have to experience everything, live life to the fullest.  If you don't experience the human side of everything, how can you help teach or heal?  To be a good medicine man, you've got to be humble.  You've got to be lower than a worm and higher than an eagle." 

   -- Archie Fire Lame Deer, Lakota

Quoted from The Little Book of Native American Wisdom, compiled by Steven McFadden, Element Books, l994

Blessing of the Month

May you always have the capacity to be a medicine man or woman, heal, teach and experience fully every day of your life.

Announcement: Upcoming Chats!

The Enchanted Self has some exciting news!  Soon we will be arranging chats at www.womensnet.net on a regular basis.  This is a great (free) opportunity for you to join in and share your own enchanted stories, as well as learn more about the Enchanted Self concepts.  The first chat is scheduled as follows:

More detailed information will be sent in a separate announcement. 


Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!


Forwarding & Reprinting

(C) 2000-2002 Copyright The Enchanted Self – All rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.