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"Achieving Positive States of Mind and Body Again and Again"

Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , Psychologist, Life Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)


Welcome to the mid-month publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  Each month I will focus on (and respond to) a question about enchantment and/or a reader's ideas on enchantment.


Question of the Month

"Sometimes my life seems so mundane.  How can find something within myself to get out of this rut?"


I hope you will stay with me this week and the next two weeks to read about THE THREE R'S: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, and Rapture. In the following article I will be talking specifically about remembering the best and letting go of the rest.  Then in the next two mid-monthly issues I will spend time talking about restoring yourself, and rapture.

RECIPE FOR ENCHANTMENT - THE THREE R's: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, Rapture

By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

In today's world there are so many wonderful and inspirational books.  There are books filled with stories of Divine intervention, miracles happening, special positive moments never to be forgotten and stories of incredible coincidences. They help make us feel in harmony with the universe. They help us fall asleep and have pleasant dreams. They often bring tears to our eyes, reinforcing an inner sense of wisdom that all is right with the world even when appearances say that is not so.

But there is one thing often missing from these books. It is the mental and emotional perspiration that we need to go through as we struggle to live a life of meaning and joy.  The inspiration is there but it's the perspiration that most of us need to put into our daily lives to create for ourselves lives of enchantment.  Because, enchantment for most of us, i.e., living a life of joy, a life that reflects many states of well being, again and again, is hard work.

Certainly we yearn for moments when the right thing happens at exactly the right time and the world opens up for us, whether it's a lucky break, meeting the right life partner or winning the lottery.  And we all need at least some of those moments.  But life, in reality, is filled with hundreds and thousands and probably millions of minutes that are repetitive, boring or simply ordinary. They involve getting up, brushing our teeth, driving to work safely, keeping a job, raising children, fighting off a cold, etc.  It is all these times that THE ENCHANTED SELF focuses on. 

These are the moments that can be mundane, depressing, dull or can be captivating, enlivening and filled with joy.

What is the difference?  The difference is usually the perspiration. I mean the mental and emotional perspiration that is involved in what I call the three R's of enchantment. Let's look at the first of the three R's.

The first is REMEMBERING THE BEST AND LETTING GO OF THE REST.  This is a critical component to general well being and a sense of happiness on a daily basis.  Most of us have sustained loss and experienced pain. Yes, we've been hurt.  We've been short-changed by opportunities or other people.  Sometimes we've been stepped upon, left or forgotten.

If we spend our daily life focusing on these disappointments then we cannot release the positive energies we need to make the most of the present moment and to plan for the future. Grudges, negative thinking, disappointments, and not forgiving all get in the way of what can be done with the present. We need our psyche energies to seize opportunities we can take advantage of.  This can't happen, if our energies are used up ruminating.

Besides, there is beauty in our own story and most, if not all disappointments we've experienced have strengthened us.  Often, we have even developed talents in coping with hard times that can reemerge in ways to enhance pleasure and/or help us be of service to the world. For example, the child that was neglected or yelled at has an opportunity to be particularly kind to others as he or she gets older, maybe to teach others certain parenting skills having known first hand how it feels on the other side.

I hope you'll take some time this week to think about yourself and what talents you may have developed during stressful times of your life. It may be the very coping skills that you can use to make your life even more successful and joyful.


Please give us the pleasure of sharing your responses.  They may be posted on the web site or in future issues of the newsletter.  You can also chat about this topic or create your own in The Enchanted Self e-group at the following URL: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself



I will be offering two free sessions on "Creating Your Own RECIPE FOR ENCHANTMENT".  Anyone interested should read a copy of my book, RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! which you can request from your local library, or order through www.amazon.com, www.1stbooks.com, or my own web site or your local bookstore.

If you are interested in this free opportunity please send your name to Rebecca Trelfa at rtrelfa@virtual-asst.com.  She will be gathering names of those interested.  Once we have enough people we will be announcing class, dates, times, and details.   



(C) 2001 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


We also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, we ask that you contact us beforehand for permission and send us a sample issue.


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.