Home  E-zine Archives  Sign up



"Dedicated to helping you attain joy, happiness and well-being."

Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Life Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)


Welcome to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

Recipe for Enchantment #33

This mental health recipe is just the opposite of the April Fool's joke:

Why these do's and dont's?  Because words can hurt and words can heal.  Trust is critical to love and connection and yet can be as fragile as a rose.  Truth is essential for our growth and well-being and yet at times must be carefully uttered—for like the rose we are also delicate.

Imagine a world where we all had a hearty dose of this recipe every morning.  How filled with light and hope and love our days would be!

Excerpts from THE ENCHANTRESS WITHIN(TM) Audio Show Featuring Guest Lisa Hammond, Founder of Femail Creations – Part One of Four

By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Please stay with me for this four part article series.  In parts one and two I will explain my interest in helping women overcome the negative messages of their childhood and how it led to the Enchanted Self concepts.  In parts three and four we will move on to one of my favorite audio shows in which I interview Lisa Hammond, a woman who realized her dream and made it come true.


As a Positive Psychologist I help women find a personal sense of well-being that frees each woman to live a life of meaning, purpose and joy.  May I share with you a little of my journey?  My original research with women happened as a result of my concerns around pain that so many women experience.  This personal and often private pain is felt when we are discouraged and/or criticized. Often this pain is inflicted when a parent, teacher, sibling, husband, boss or other important person in our lives, tells us that we can't do something or that we are not good enough.

Many women have been discouraged from the professions they dreamed of, the sports they wished to play, and even the hobbies and avocations they wished to pursue. I'll never forget the client who told me that her husband would say (when she had a creative idea), "that and 10 cents will get you a cup of coffee." You can imagine how that made her feel!

I also remember the woman I interviewed in my research of women, who told me that she had a difficult choice when she graduated high school. She could become a saleslady or take a course to become a secretary. She did not wish to be either, but that did not matter to the family. She chose another outlet—marrying at 19.

Negative messages about what we can and can not become are so destructive! I wanted to document the negative messages we are faced with and also gather some clues as how to offset those messages.

My research led to both of the above, but also took me on a path beyond my wildest dreams. Yes, indeed, each of the 18 women I interviewed had experienced negative messages, often at several different stages of life. That was easy to document.

What surprised me was the capacity for well-being—even for joyous living—that each woman shared with me in her own way. My innocent question, "When do you feel most whole, happy, 'on', etc.?" turned out to provide me with profound information.  As each woman shared with me a special corner of her life, whether it was taking ballet lessons at age 50, reading to grandchildren, gardening, finally graduating high school at age 60, or having fun with her teenagers—-even though she came from abuse—I saw the sparkle of each woman's Enchantment.

Yes, each woman had capacities unnamed and under-celebrated.  Each experienced joy and a special sense of purpose.


Next time I will continue to share how I came to develop the Enchanted Self concepts through my research.  The final two parts in the weeks to come are dedicated to one of my favorite audio shows in which I interview Lisa Hammond, a woman who realized her dream and made it come true.

How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more

How about some autographed copies of 'Recipes for Enchantment' with a free copy of The Enchanted Self's paper newsletter and a bookmark?  Perhaps you would be interested my first book, 'The Enchanted Self', which is also available on audio tape?  Here are some ways to order:

Tip: When shopping online use keywords "recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.

E-group: Connect with others like you!

Find out "what's right with you--not what's wrong!"  Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself.  Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and more.  It's a great way to connect with others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and satisfying lives.  See you there!

Share Your Enchantment!

Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe!  Our mid-month e-letter focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of almost 700 people from the US, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom, and many other countries!  Please send stories, comments, and questions to encself@aol.com.

Quote of the Month

"Oh, she is coming, the woman of tomorrow.  The highest intelligence in the freest body." 

-- Isadora Duncan

Blessing of the Month

May you always be free in mind, body and spirit—free to live a full life in health, passionately connected to purpose.  May you always 'dance' to your own 'tune' and find meaning in your steps.


There is a free gift available to you from my web site at www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm.  Available for download is a picture of an enchantress in the background of a lovely poem that you can print out and enjoy.


Enchanted Self concepts are now available for you to read on Whispers, an online magazine for women.  To access my latest article and enjoy the site, simply copy and paste the following link into your browser window.


The Bright Side

When life is too much for you, visit my new column, 'A Happier Me' on the-bright-side.org.  Just copy and paste the following link into your browser window.



Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!


Forwarding &Reprinting

(C) 2000-2003 Copyright The Enchanted Self – All rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - An Educational Approach to Positive Psychology - please contact me or visit my web site.