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A Taste of Enchantment - March 16, 2004

"Dedicated to helping you find delight and feel good about yourself."


Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Happiness Coach,

and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®







... to the mid-month publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter! This month, I would like to continue with my seven-part series on the Gateways to ENCHANTMENT. Over the next months, at least once a month, we will take a close look at each Gateway, learning how traveling through each one can lead to you living a life of delight, purpose and meaning while feeling good about yourself!


You will also find a special invitation to another free tele-class below, as well as information on our new enchanted purses!




Last time we explored the fourth Enchanted Self Gateway. If you need to read a copy of any of the previous gateways, you can read them from my web site by following this link: http://www.enchantedself.com/eletterarchives.htm


Gateway Five: Coming Home or Going Away, Finding Tribes in Which to Belong - Part One
By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

All of us find ourselves automatically belonging to certain groups. There's the family we're born into, the family we may have created through marriage, and all sorts of other groups going on in our lives: PTA groups, office colleagues and church affiliations, etc.


As we grow up, move away from school connections, and early jobs, often marry and have children, women frequently don't realize how critical it is to belong to groups. Depression feeds very quickly off of isolation. By nature most women not only share commonly in our care taking and in our concerns about others, but we enjoy and thrive when we're a part of the right groups. We want to be connected. We don't want to be isolated.


Choosing the right groups--the right tribes to belong to--is part of the dilemma and the wonderment of going through adult life. While our children don't always have much freedom in choosing what groups they belong to, sometimes they can be so greatly against an activity that we finally let them quit. We may let them leave the Girl Scouts or little league, or perhaps stop taking piano lessons, thus letting them make their own determinations.


But we, as adult women, can on the whole always have the privilege and luxury of picking our groups. It may well be time, as your children get older, to say "goodbye" forever to the PTA. It may be time to find a religious affiliation that is or is not connected to your heritage or what you were initially exposed to.


It may be time to find groups to belong to through technologies that didn't exist ten years ago. I have clients and friends who have found meaningful interest groups through the web. For example, a woman client now belongs to a quilting group that is worldwide. The result is that she not only has gained chat mates, but she has also been able to visit her new friends around the world and been able to act as hostess to many of these friends. As they say, "Who coulda thunk it?"


This is an extraordinary gateway, so take some time getting to know yourself, as you are now, and see the many ways how this can lead you to where you want to connect.




Please give us the pleasure of sharing your responses.  They may be posted on the web site or in future issues of the newsletter.  You can also chat about this topic or create your own in The Enchanted Self e-group at the following URL: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself





Free Tele-class

(This is the LAST TIME in the foreseeable future that I will be giving this particular tele-class for FREE!)


Topic: The Seven Gateways to ENCHANTMENT
Host: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 9:00 pm EST

This free tele-class will cover practical ways to begin to walk through each Enchanted Gateway so that you can flourish in mind, body and spirit!  You will begin the process by …

  • Getting to know yourself in positive ways–What’s right about yourself, not wrong!

  • Beginning to fall in love with yourself–Appreciating the story of your own life and seeing your own talents and potential!

  • Better meeting your needs–Learning how to negotiate successfully for what you want.

  • Replenishing more often–Rediscovering what gives you pleasure and joy and insisting on building it in.

  • Fighting the blues successfully–Not isolating, finding community to belong to that fits who you are.

  • Sharing wisdom–Recognizing the teacher in each of us and giving and receiving freely knowledge.

  • Taking positive action–Having the courage to put positive plans into action, not just your imagination.

Dr. Holstein will draw on her tremendous knowledge of positive psychology, while sharing stories from her treatment room and her own journeys in personal growth.  After the class you will be entitled to a free gift and a special sale on her products!

To register for this class send an e-mail response to encself@aol.com putting in the subject line 'free teleclass.' You will be mailed back call in instructions.


Enchanted Purses for Wise, Wonderful Women
These purses are meant to travel around the world with women who share their wisdom, special thoughts, hopes, dreams, and enchanted moments with each other and the world via The Enchanted Self. There are prizes and fun as we start a Woman's Wisdom Archive. Come and be part of it!  For more information go to: http://www.enchantedself.com/purses.asp


How to Order

Come to my order page for a delightful assortment of inspirational gift items for you and your loved ones for the holidays! Simply go to my ordering page on my site at www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm


There you can also order my new version of RECIPES
FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! It is inexpensive and fun! You pick the script style and the cost is only $2.95. Why not inspire a friend, relative or yourself this new year with a book that doesn't require getting to a book store or waiting for the post?


Free gifts are also available! Simply go to www.enchantedself.com/freeitems.htm


Forwarding & Reprinting

(C) 2000-2004 Copyright The Enchanted Self – All rights reserved.  Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:


Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein



I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) – An Educational Approach to Positive Psychology, please contact me or visit my web site.

Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!