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Enchantment in an E-mail - March 1, 2004

"Dedicated to helping you find delight and feel good about yourself."


Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Happiness Coach,

and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®



… to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's newsletter! The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

  • Recipe for Enchantment

  • Article: Gateway Four: Replenishment - Truly
    Coming Home to Our Enchanted Self

  • How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more

  • E-group: Connect with others like you!

  • Share Your Enchantment!

  • Quote of the Month

  • Blessing of the Month

  • Announcements

Recipe for Enchantment #36



Let's try to think of a few things for which to be grateful. No matter how big or small. For example:


The overflowing baskets of dirty laundry.

  • Be grateful for the clothes you have.

  • Be grateful for washing machines & Laundromats.

  • Be grateful for detergents to get them clean and fresh.

The chicken who daily lays her eggs.

  • Be grateful for breakfast: scrambled, fried, poached, etc ...

  • Be grateful for the goodies using eggs: cakes, cookies, rolls ...

The toothpaste we use daily.

  • Be grateful for clean breath and preservation of
    our teeth.

  • Be grateful that it can be very useful as a
    polish and cleaner.

A handy dandy fix-it tool for small holes in walls.

Okay, now it is your turn to take five minutes to pause and find the cause to be grateful for this moment! Make your grateful list here if you like!


*This Recipe for Enchantment was sent to my e-group by a member. To join the e-group and find lots of delightful discussion and other beautiful remarks go to the following URL: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join

Gateway Four: Replenishment - Truly
Coming Home to Our Enchanted Self

By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


Last time we looked at the second section in Gateway Two: Falling in Love with Ourselves.  If you need to go back and read any of the previous Gateways, please visit the following page on my web site: http://www.enchantedself.com/eletterarchives.htm

Replenishment, joy, pleasure and delight are all parts of truly coming home to our Enchanted Selves. If any gateway is the pivotal gateway for a woman, it is this gateway. This is the gateway that we must return to above all others, as frequently as possible. It is where we fuel up, where we energize. It is where we fill ourselves again so that we can meet the needs of others, be the caretakers of the world, bring up our children, spend time with the elderly, and do the hundreds of womanly tasks that we do, including having a full time job and running a home.


It may seem strange to you at first, but the smartest way to fill up again once we’ve become depleted is to bring personal satisfaction and replenishment back into our own lives. This means really knowing who you are, loving yourself and knowing how to meet your needs.


If you feel rejuvenated after a great game of tennis, then that works for you. If you try to fill up by going to a comedy performance or having a massage, you may remain on empty if it isn't right for you. Choosing what is right differs from person to person, so invest some good thought into finding out what is right for yourself.


In THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, I teach how to sort through your memories to get to know yourself, so that you can really tune in on the best forms of replenishment, joy and pleasure for you. A general rule of thumb is to look for what has felt good in the past, and try to either duplicate it or find a way to transform the activity into a form that works for your present stage of life. For example, a long swim in a lake in childhood might now be light swimming, walking in the pool at the local “Y,” and a cup of coffee!


Case Vignette
Lisa had been very much a tomboy growing up. Now a mother of five children, she found herself in a maternal roll literally 24 hours a day. Often her body ached for climbing trees and for the soccer field.


Lisa shared with me how good she felt and how much personal replenishment she was able to take from a simple activity that developed in a nearby friend’s back yard.  One of her neighbors had put up a very large trampoline. All the kids would go out and bounce on it, having great fun as they jumped up and down on it.


One day Lisa decided to join them. Before she knew it, she was having the most wonderful time, jumping, bouncing, landing on her bottom and even doing somersaults as she became more confident. This was fabulous! She was moving and jumping, using her great sense of balance and having a wonderful time.  Twenty minutes on the trampoline, three times a week, was as close to paradise as Lisa needed to get to during this particular stage of motherhood.

A Positive Activity for You
Think about some of the things you really loved to do when you were a child. You may want to jot some of these down on a piece of paper. They could be activities, hobbies or interests that you had.


Once you have completed your list, take time on and off during the next few days to think about your list. Use your imagination to brainstorm how you could either bring back to life some of your old passions, or refine ways to create new interests that have some of the same features. For example if you loved to roller-skate as a child, you may want to try roller-blading, or you may want to take up ballroom dancing (which may be less risky on the muscles and joints!) Such a treasure hunt for lost joys is an activity that you can do again and again as you search through the story of your life for the very unique factors that can bring you pleasure and rejuvenation again and again.


How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more
How about some autographed copies of 'Recipes for Enchantment' with a free copy of The Enchanted Self's paper newsletter and a bookmark? Perhaps you would be interested my first book, 'The Enchanted Self', which is also available on audio tape? Here are some ways to order:

Tip: When shopping online use keywords "recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.

E-group: Connect with others like you!
Find out "what's right with you--not what's wrong!" Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself.
Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and more. It's a great way to connect with others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and satisfying lives. See you there!

Share Your Enchantment!
Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe! Our mid-month e-letter focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of almost 2000 people from the US, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom, and many other countries! Please send stories, comments, and questions to encself@aol.com.

Inspirational Remarks of the Month
Chofetz Chaim, a wonderful Jewish teacher, told others that he initially wanted to change the world, but found he couldn't. Then he wanted to change his family, but he couldn't. Finally he realized that he could only work on himself! And he did. He spent years studying the negative effects of gossip and hurtful talk and trained himself not to do any of it. And do you know what happened? His teaching on this subject spread far and wide and now he has influenced much of the world! People all over study his wise words around gossip and practice his approach to speaking of others in positive ways.


Blessing of the Month
May you too, start from where you are, find your gifts to develop and have the pleasure of discovering that many are influenced in beautiful ways by your song!


Free Tele-class
We will soon be announcing another free tele-class on THE SEVEN GATEWAYS OF ENCHANTMENT. I'd like to get your feedback. What time of the day or evening would you prefer? Please write to me at encself@aol.com.  Thank you!

Enchanted Purses for Wise, Wonderful Women
These purses are meant to travel around the world with women who share their wisdom, special thoughts, hopes, dreams, and enchanted moments with each other and the world via The Enchanted Self. There are prizes and fun as we start a Woman's Wisdom Archive. Come and be part of it!  For more information go to: http://www.enchantedself.com/purses.asp

Have an "enchanting" month. I wish you all many enchanted moments!


Forwarding & Reprinting
(C) 2000-2004 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All
rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it. The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I
do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.

To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - An Educational Approach to Positive Psychology, please contact me or visit my web site.