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Enchantment in an E-mail - February 1, 2004

"Dedicated to helping you find delight and feel good about yourself."


Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Happiness Coach,

and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®



… to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's newsletter! The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

  • Recipe for Enchantment

  • Article: Gateway Two: Another Look at Entering the Enchanted Gateways - Part Two

  • Free Teleclass: The Seven Gateways to Enchantment

  • How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more

  • E-group: Connect with others like you!

  • Share Your Enchantment!

  • Quote of the Month

  • Blessing of the Month

  • Announcements

Recipe for Enchantment #35

You Can Always Add a Blessing to Someone's Life

Once a poor man was refreshed by a wonderful tree. He was hungry and ate a juicy apple from the tree.  Now he was tired and the tree helped keep him cool as he slept. When he woke up, he spoke to the tree. "I want to repay you in some way for helping me. But I have nothing! What can I do?"  He thought for a moment and an idea floated into his mind. "I could give you a blessing! But you don't need long life, you couldn't be this big without having lived many, many years already. I can't bless you with juicy ripe fruit, as you have an abundance of that already. Wait, I have it. I bless you that all the seeds from you will find
homes in the rich soil and grow into wonderful trees, just as splendid as you are!"

And so the man went on his way, feeling satisfied and happy. As he looked back he saw the tree gently waving to him and all was good!

Yes, there is a recipe for enchantment in the above story. The recipe is simply to bless others, perhaps to thank them, perhaps just to warm their hearts. Your words can give hope and encouragement.  You don't formally need to use the word blessing to do just that! For instance: 'May you do well on your job interviews!' 'May you get a good report from the doctor.' 'Have a great vacation and come
back refreshed.' 'I'm looking forward to a great report on your dinner party. Your food always tastes so good.'

For this recipe to really simmer all month, keep stirring the pot by adding in one new blessing a day! A blessing gets to be added in once you have said it to someone.

May your pot fill to the top with good feelings, warmth and delight! Take full servings often as you can easily fill the pot back up--you know the SECRET (blessings).

The story was loosely adapted from a tale, Say Thank You With A Blessing. p. 103, from the book, The Bird of Paradise and Other Sabbath Stories by Steven M. Rosman, UAHC Press, New York, New York.

Gateway Two: Another Look at Entering the
Enchanted Gateways - Part Two

By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Last time we looked at the first section in this Gateway: Gateway Two: Falling in Love with Ourselves. This time we will follow up with a case vignette and positive activity for you. If you need to go back and read the first part of this Gateway, or start with Gateway One, please visit the following page on my web site:

Case Vignette
Charlotte was constantly demeaned and criticized by her husband. Once she fell in love with herself, she had the courage to no longer put up with his attacks. When he became verbally abusive, she left the house and indicated that if he was not in a better mood and could not behave more appropriately when she returned home, she would
leave for good.


Her husband slowly mended his ways and became less verbally inappropriate as time went on. And because Charlotte had learned to love herself, she found that she was able to do what she needed to do for herself. This included becoming more independent and spending time away from her husband.

Perhaps another woman would have left, but for her it made sense to build a world that still included him, but also included her own time for herself—for sports, spas, individual time with her grandchildren, time to enjoy music, time alone with women friends.

Although she stayed, she had become strong. Her love of herself made her conceivably able to leave at any point in time if she was not treated appropriately. Her husband realized this, and did not test the waters too deeply. A satisfactory conclusion had been reached, due to Charlotte's "new" self.

Positive Activity for You
Think about the story of your life. Think about it in positive terms where every hurdle ultimately resulted in some wisdom or in a turn in the road which had some good in it. Start to tell the story of your life to yourself, making yourself the heroine, and remember to make yourself a lovable heroine. You may find yourself going over the same material that we've talked about before, merely
giving it a different twist to more clearly identify your talents, strengths and potential. 

Enjoy the positive story of your life. Discover how special you really are.

Free Tele-class
Topic: The Seven Gateways to ENCHANTMENT
Host: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Date: February 6, 2004
Time: 3:00 pm EST

This free tele-class will cover practical ways to begin to walk through each Enchanted Gateway so that you can flourish in mind, body and spirit!  You will begin the process by …

  • Getting to know yourself in positive ways–What’s right about yourself, not wrong!

  • Beginning to fall in love with yourself–Appreciating the story of your own life and seeing your own talents and potential!

  • Better meeting your needs–Learning how to negotiate successfully for what you want.

  • Replenishing more often–Rediscovering what gives you pleasure and joy and insisting on building it in.

  • Fighting the blues successfully–Not isolating, finding community to belong to that fits who you are.

  • Sharing wisdom–Recognizing the teacher in each of us and giving and receiving freely knowledge.

  • Taking positive action–Having the courage to put positive plans into action, not just your imagination.

Dr. Holstein will draw on her tremendous knowledge of positive psychology, while sharing stories from her treatment room and her own journeys in personal growth.

To register for this class send an e-mail response to encself@aol.com putting in the subject line 'free teleclass.' You will be mailed back call in instructions.

How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more
How about some autographed copies of 'Recipes for Enchantment' with a free copy of The Enchanted Self's paper newsletter and a bookmark? Perhaps you would be interested my first book, 'The Enchanted Self', which is also available on audio tape? Here are some ways to order:

Tip: When shopping online use keywords "recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.

E-group: Connect with others like you!
Find out "what's right with you--not what's wrong!" Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself.
Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and more. It's a great way to connect with others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and satisfying lives. See you there!

Share Your Enchantment!
Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe! Our mid-month e-letter focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of almost 2000 people from the US, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom, and many other countries! Please send stories, comments, and questions to encself@aol.com.

Quote of the Month
"People carry around yesterday's disappointments and tomorrow's worries like weights around their necks. Learn to let go of them, and fill your heart with contentment of the present."

-- Rabbi Hadar Margolin


Blessing of the Month
May you have the peace of mind to let go of yesterday's disappointments and tomorrow's worries and truly enjoy today. May this very moment be a blessing as your own song bursts through, bubbling with joy and harmonizing with all around you.


Enchanted Purses for Wise, Wonderful Women
These purses are meant to travel around the world with women who share their wisdom, special thoughts, hopes, dreams, and enchanted moments with each other and the world via The Enchanted Self. There are prizes and fun as we start a Woman's Wisdom Archive. Come and be part of it!  For more information go to: http://www.enchantedself.com/purses.asp

My article, The Gabbie Cabbie will be the main feature in Inspiration Line's weekly e-zine on March 1st. The Inspiration Line Ezine is a colorful online magazine; FREE each week for those seeking encouragement and positive life coaching. Their approach Is universal in nature, reflecting the Wisdom of the Ages, that is harvested from a multitude of sectors ... to teach and uplift from the inside out.  You can request a free weekly subscription at www.InspirationLine.com


Have an "enchanting" month. I wish you all many enchanted moments!


Forwarding & Reprinting
(C) 2000-2004 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All
rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it. The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I
do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.

To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - An Educational Approach to Positive Psychology, please contact me or visit my web site.