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"Achieving Positive States of Mind and Body Again and Again"

Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , Psychologist, Life Coach, and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)          


Welcome to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter!  The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

Recipe for Enchantment #20

Living a Life of Enchantment is Very Simple.  You need to stir together and develop seven capacities that we all have:

1. You need to know yourself.

2. You need also to like yourself.

3. You need to meet your needs.

4. You need to build pleasure and replenishment into your life.

5. You need to belong.

6. You need to find mentors and to be a mentor.

7. You need to build a life of meaning--your positive behaviors are the key to this.

That's it.  Stir these capacities together.  Feel free to mix and match.  You may find you are seasoning your life with one or two more than the others at various stages.  That is OK.  Eventually they all work in your behalf.  Don't be afraid to pass this recipe on.  The more people who 'cook' their lives in this fashion, the happier we will all be.

Article: Enchantment in a 5 and 10-Cent Store

By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

The other night as my mind was wandering, at perhaps 3:00 AM , I had a lovely encounter with the past.  I was remembering some wanderings of late childhood.  I was about ten or eleven and the magic journey was a bus that took me downtown Bridgeport . 

The first part of the magic journey was just waiting for the bus all by myself.  I felt very grown-up and by today's standards I was!  I would lock the house, put my key on a string around my neck, hide it, and walk the two blocks to wait by the telephone pole for the bus.  When the public bus came I got on, said "Hello" to the driver--who I recognized from lots of trips--paid and sat down.  I always sat up front, liking to be near him, just in case I needed help.  Then I would read. 

Usually I had a great book with me, maybe Little House on the Prairie or Nancy Drew.  Whatever it was, time flew and before I knew it, I was stepping off the bus on Main Street .

The downtown streets of Bridgeport seemed so busy and crowded!  I was not afraid though.  I knew my destination.  Inside of my pocket I clutched my few dollars and made straight for my enchanted castle.  There it was--the 5- and 10-cent store in all of its glory!  A perfect palace!  I had a wonderful food counter with stools that swirled around if I was hungry.  I could just hop up and order anything I wanted--an ice cream soda or a hamburger.  I had a bathroom so I didn't need to feel desperate, and I had this whole glorious store to walk around.  The endless aisles with the glass counters just full of items to touch and dream about!  There was a make-up aisle and I could imagine ahead a few years.  I loved to look at the colors of make-up and especially the lipsticks.  How would I look all dolled up--beautiful, yes?  Then there was the pocketbook and wallet aisle.  That was fun, and the candy aisle and even house-wares was interesting.

But the best aisle, and my purpose in this exploration of enchantment, was to the fabric aisle. 

Oh, the bolts of fabric were so wonderful.  If only I had a ton of money and a real grown-up sewing machine I could make such wonderful clothes.  I would design them myself and everyone would love them, but I had only a couple of dollars and just a tiny hand cranked sewing machine.  Still, I was in paradise.  "I will take a quarter of a yard of this soft velvet-maroon and a yard of this lace trim, please.  And may I have one quarter of a yard of this soft fake white fur?  Oh, I am so excited."  A very nice lady put them all into a paper bag.  I told her I was making a new winter outfit for my doll.  She even threw in a package of buttons for trim.  I was so lucky!

Sadly, my money was almost gone and the bus was coming.  I left my enchanted castle of 5- and 10-cent wonders.  I felt so enriched inside--another successful journey into the big world and a package of wonders to further play with when I got home.  Life was good and I now looked forward to a few more pages of Nancy Drew on the way home!

Exercise: A Play-Date With Your Memory Lane

Take a little time to wander down your memory lane.  Look for what felt good, what gave you pleasure and also what activities or events gave you good feelings and/or used your talents, strengths or coping skills.

As you can see, my little reverie brought back a time that felt good and also was indicative of strengths I had.  I could take the bus by myself!  I could lose myself in reading!  I could sew!  I could imagine and create!  Yes, there was a strong, determined little girl there.  I am proud that she was me.

Share your memories with loved ones, friends and us!  We all enjoy listening to or reading each other's memories.  The images come alive and we are back there with you, just as I am sure a lot of you were back with me on that bus and in that old five and ten cent store in Bridgeport.  Have fun!

How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and More

How about some autographed copies of 'Recipes for Enchantment' with a free copy of The Enchanted Self's paper newsletter and a bookmark?  Perhaps you would be interested my first book, 'The Enchanted Self', which is also available on audio tape?  Here are some ways to order:

 Tip: When shopping online use keywords "recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.

E-group: Connect with others like you!

Find out "what's right with you--not what's wrong!"  Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself.  Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and more.  It's a great way to connect with others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and satisfying lives.  See you there!

Share Your Enchantment!

Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe!  Our mid-month e-zine focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of almost 700 people from the US , Canada , Australia , the United Kingdom , and many other countries!  Please send stories, comments, and questions to encself@aol.com.

Quote of the Month

"There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. 

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us;

It is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same ..."

-- Taken from a poem by Nelson Mandela, passed along by Bob Needy to George Polley.  Found in George's book: Being Here, Exercises for Renewed Living.

Blessing of the Month

May your light always shine through.

May you be an inspiration for others,

While enjoying the fullness of being YOU!


Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!


Forwarding & Reprinting

(C) 2001 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.