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A Taste of Enchantment - January 15, 2004

"Dedicated to helping you find delight and feel good about yourself."


Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Happiness Coach,

and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®







... to the mid-month publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter! This month, I would like to continue with my seven-part series on the Gateways to ENCHANTMENT. Over the next months, at least once a month, we will take a close look at each Gateway, learning how traveling through each Gateway can lead to you living a life of delight, purpose and meaning while feeling good about yourself! You will also find a small story from guest writer, Ellen Saposnik, below. It is entitled: A Gift from Mother.


Last time I introduced you to the first Enchanted Self Gateway. If you need another copy of the e-mail write to me at encself@aol.com and it will be sent. Now let's go on to look at the Second Gateway to Enchantment.

Gateway Two: Falling in Love with Ourselves
By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

This is an extremely important gateway. This gateway is achieved after we have made efforts to reclaim and honor our talents, capacities, strengths, lost potential and coping skills.


Now we are ready. We no longer break our hearts by putting ourselves down and saying "No, no, you can't do that," or "You're stupid." Now we are ready to say, "Yes, I love myself. I have a lot to offer. I am capable of having fun. I am capable of doing good, and no one can sidetrack me from who I really am."


When you fall in love with yourself, you begin to feel the positive self-esteem that comes when we don't deflate ourselves. You're ready to take yourself out for tea or to that wonderful spa for a day, or to go back and play the piano, which you always wanted to do.  You're ready to recognize all the tools of wisdom that you have to offer. You're ready to recognize that you have an Enchanted Self that deserves to be part of your every day.

When you love yourself, you know when you need help. You know when you need guidance. It isn't a narcissistic love where you feel that you are perfect. It's a love of yourself, as you would love a child. If the child is ill, you take the child to the doctor. If the child comes home with a good paper from school, you put it on the refrigerator. It's a self-acknowledgment that makes you viable, real, and whole. Now you've become really ready to see the story of your life in a positive light. Even the disappointments, even tragedies have served only to hone you like tempered steel. You've been through the battles and have emerged stronger. You're in charge of your own self, a most wonderful feeling!

For more on this Gateway, including a Case Vignette and an Activity for You, check Enchantment in an E-mail next time. Meanwhile, I hope you will begin to look at yourself as a here or heroine that is living a live that has magic, meaning and purpose that only you can fully optimize!

A Gift from Mother
By Guest Writer, Ellen Saposnik

When she was alive, my mother indulged my passion for collecting teddy bears. What began as an innocent purchase of one old-fashioned teddy 18 years ago has blossomed into a collection of more than 300 bears.

A few weeks ago, while wandering through a favorite local store, a Hanukkah bear caught my eye, and I cradled him in my arms. I peeked at the tag, $26.99. I did not buy the bear then, but tucked the idea in the back of my mind. A week or so later, my husband Steven said, “Look what I brought home from your parents’ house.” He showed me a small wooden cigar box with the last bit of my mother’s mahjongg and canasta money. There was $24 in bills and another $6 or $7 in change. That was my mother telling me from across the great beyond that she wanted me to have that bear for my birthday.

I got that bear and cradled him into my arms and into my heart. No one can convince me that it was a coincidence. It was my dearest mother letting me know she’s watching over me. What a wonderful gift we shared throughout her life and we still share it today.




Please give us the pleasure of sharing your responses.  They may be posted on the web site or in future issues of the newsletter.  You can also chat about this topic or create your own in The Enchanted Self e-group at the following URL: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself


How to Order

Come to my order page for a delightful assortment of inspirational gift items for you and your loved ones for the holidays! Simply go to my ordering page on my site at www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm


There you can also order my new version of RECIPES
FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! It is inexpensive and fun! You pick the script style and the cost is only $2.95. Why not inspire a friend, relative or yourself this new year with a book that doesn't require getting to a book store or waiting for the post?


Free gifts are also available! Simply go to www.enchantedself.com/freeitems.htm


Forwarding & Reprinting

(C) 2000-2004 Copyright The Enchanted Self – All rights reserved.  Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it.  The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:


Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein



I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.


To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) – An Educational Approach to Positive Psychology, please contact me or visit my web site.

Have an "enchanting" month.  I wish you all many enchanted moments!