to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's newsletter! The
following is what you will find in this month's
Recipe for Enchantment
Gateway One: Looking at the First Gateway to Enchantment
look for seperate e-mail invitation
How to Order
Books, Audio Tapes and more
Connect with others like you!
Share Your Enchantment!
Quote of the Month
Blessing of the Month
Enchanted purses to go around the world and you can be part of the
This recipe is adapted from one making the rounds
on the web. It is too good to miss!
Recipe for a Happy New Year
Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.
Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or
thirty-one different parts,
but don't make up the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.
Mix well into each day one part of faith,
one part of patience, one part of courage,
and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope,
faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.
Blend with one part prayer,
one part meditation, and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits,
a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play,
and a cupful of good humor.
Pour all of this into a vessel of love.
Cook thoroughly over radiant joy,
garnish with a smile,
and serve with quietness, unselfishness,
You're bound to have a happy new year.
-- Author Unknown
Gateway One: Looking at the First
Gateway to Enchantment
By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Welcome to my seven-part series on the Gateways to ENCHANTMENT. Over the
next months, at least once a month, we will take a close look at each
Gateway, learning how traveling through each Gateway can lead to you
living a life of delight, purpose and meaning while feeling good about
When I began to call the special part of ourselves that can be found
somewhere between the mind, body, spirit and heart THE ENCHANTED SELF®,
many, particularly women, expressed their appreciation over and over
again. "Thank you for giving a name to this special part of me," and "This
is the part of me that I always devalued and ignored because I thought I
wasn't entitled to it. Now that you've identified it, I feel justified in
developing this part of myself!"
THE ENCHANTED SELF is indeed a very special part of each of us. You may
not have given it a name. You may have dismissed it as trivial—perhaps
unimportant in the scheme of a hectic busy, demanding life—but deep inside
you've yearned to find it and let it out. There comes a moment in every
woman's life when it is time bask in your personal delight, happiness and
joy. When that time comes—and now that we know it as THE ENCHANTED SELF—we
can proudly enjoy it and hold onto it.
But what are the tools to get to THE ENCHANTED SELF part of ourselves?
What skills do we need in order to capture and hold onto this special part
of ourselves? Let's look at the First Gateway to ENCHANTMENT and you will
begin to see what we need. In future weeks I'll take you through more of
the Gateways to ENCHANTMENT!
First Gateway: Honoring what is
Right about Ourselves Rather Than what is Wrong
I have found that we're all experts in identifying
what is wrong with ourselves. We can probably quickly make up a long list,
detailing what is wrong in our lives. However, it's a lot harder to get in
touch with what is right.
We need to know ourselves in positive ways. We need to learn how to honor
our talents, strengths, even our coping skills which serve us so well. And
most important, we need to treasure and enjoy our potential.
These parts of us, if not honored, identified and talked about both to
ourselves and to others, will lose their power. We have to ignite them and
nurture their special qualities. We need to get to know ourselves in ways
that emphasize the heroic, strong parts of ourselves.
This means using our memories in very different ways from what we've been
accustomed to. It means searching through our history to find our talents,
strengths and even lost potential, even if we have to sort through pounds
of dysfunction. It means searching our past for what is right about our
selves, not for what is wrong.
Stacie had very negative feelings toward her mother and her aunt,
who would both often put her down and criticize her. However, once she was
well into her therapy, she began to enjoy sorting through her past,
realizing that many of the talents and strengths she had acquired had been
based either by example from these women, or by compensating for their
deficits. By example, she had learned to sew, cook and have the best
vegetable garden that anyone could imagine, even while working full time.
By compensating, she learned to guard her tongue and never jump to
criticize others. This latter capacity has served her well in her job,
while the former gave her day-to-day pleasure in hobbies and in good food.
A Positive Activity for You
Pick a time period from earliest childhood to the present. Find a quiet
spot, a quiet time, and begin to list the talents, strengths, coping
skills and potential that you got and currently display from that time
period. You may have to sort through disappointments and hurts, but you
will still find a way to label what's right about yourself.
Take your time. Keep this list with you, and add to it over the next few
weeks or even months. Read it again and again to reinforce within you what
is right within you, rather than what is wrong.
Yes, the first free tele-class is really coming and it will focus on The
Seven Gateways to Enchantment. Rather than taking space in this
e-mail newsletter, look for a separate invitation by the middle of
January. I hope many of you will join me. It will be fabulous to hear your
voices and be together!
How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more
How about some autographed copies of 'Recipes for Enchantment' with a free
copy of The Enchanted Self's paper newsletter and a bookmark? Perhaps you
would be interested my first book, 'The Enchanted Self', which is also
available on audio tape? Here are some ways to order:
Tip: When shopping online use keywords
"recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.
E-group: Connect with others like you!
Find out "what's right with you--not what's wrong!" Come chat with other
"Enchanted Self-ers" at
Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar,
message board, chat room, and more. It's a great way to connect with
others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and
satisfying lives. See you there!
Share Your Enchantment!
Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment
with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe! Our mid-month e-letter
focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of almost 700 people from the
US, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom, and many other countries!
Please send stories, comments, and questions to
Quote of the Month
"People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to
-- Author Unknown
Blessing of the
May you find yourself filling this coming year with your
essence of spirit combined with "a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a
cupful of humor."
There is something very exciting and adventurous about to go on
in the land of Enchantment. I'll be sharing the adventure with you on my
website, telling you how you can join in and providing clues and
opportunities for various prizes. I hope you will share the adventures of
the Enchanted Purses as they go around the world with me. Look for further
details this month on my website.
Have an "enchanting" month. I wish you all
many enchanted moments!
Forwarding & Reprinting
(C) 2000-2004 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All
Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it. The
Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or
distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the
content is not changed and attribution is given including:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)
I also encourage you to include this
material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional
psychology newsletters. However, I
do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample
To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - An Educational Approach to
Positive Psychology, please contact me or visit my web site.