Home | E-zine Archives | Sign up



Enchantment in an E-mail - January 1, 2004

"Dedicated to helping you find delight and feel good about yourself."


Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Happiness Coach,

and Originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®



… to the monthly publication of The Enchanted Self's newsletter! The following is what you will find in this month's issue.

  • Recipe for Enchantment

  • Article: Gateway One: Looking at the First Gateway to Enchantment

  • Free Teleclass: look for seperate e-mail invitation

  • How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more

  • E-group: Connect with others like you!

  • Share Your Enchantment!

  • Quote of the Month

  • Blessing of the Month

  • Surprise: Enchanted purses to go around the world and you can be part of the adventure!

Recipe for Enchantment #34
This recipe is adapted from one making the rounds
on the web. It is too good to miss!

Recipe for a Happy New Year
Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.

Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or
thirty-one different parts,
but don't make up the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.

Mix well into each day one part of faith,
one part of patience, one part of courage,
and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope,
faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.
Blend with one part prayer,
one part meditation, and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits,
a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play,
and a cupful of good humor.

Pour all of this into a vessel of love.
Cook thoroughly over radiant joy,
garnish with a smile,
and serve with quietness, unselfishness,
and cheerfulness.

You're bound to have a happy new year.
-- Author Unknown

Gateway One: Looking at the First Gateway to Enchantment
By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

Welcome to my seven-part series on the Gateways to ENCHANTMENT. Over the next months, at least once a month, we will take a close look at each Gateway, learning how traveling through each Gateway can lead to you living a life of delight, purpose and meaning while feeling good about yourself!

When I began to call the special part of ourselves that can be found somewhere between the mind, body, spirit and heart THE ENCHANTED SELF®, many, particularly women, expressed their appreciation over and over again. "Thank you for giving a name to this special part of me," and "This is the part of me that I always devalued and ignored because I thought I wasn't entitled to it. Now that you've identified it, I feel justified in developing this part of myself!"

THE ENCHANTED SELF is indeed a very special part of each of us. You may not have given it a name. You may have dismissed it as trivial—perhaps unimportant in the scheme of a hectic busy, demanding life—but deep inside you've yearned to find it and let it out. There comes a moment in every woman's life when it is time bask in your personal delight, happiness and joy. When that time comes—and now that we know it as THE ENCHANTED SELF—we can proudly enjoy it and hold onto it.

But what are the tools to get to THE ENCHANTED SELF part of ourselves? What skills do we need in order to capture and hold onto this special part of ourselves? Let's look at the First Gateway to ENCHANTMENT and you will begin to see what we need. In future weeks I'll take you through more of the Gateways to ENCHANTMENT!

First Gateway: Honoring what is Right about Ourselves Rather Than what is Wrong

I have found that we're all experts in identifying what is wrong with ourselves. We can probably quickly make up a long list, detailing what is wrong in our lives. However, it's a lot harder to get in touch with what is right.

We need to know ourselves in positive ways. We need to learn how to honor our talents, strengths, even our coping skills which serve us so well. And most important, we need to treasure and enjoy our potential.

These parts of us, if not honored, identified and talked about both to ourselves and to others, will lose their power. We have to ignite them and nurture their special qualities. We need to get to know ourselves in ways that emphasize the heroic, strong parts of ourselves.

This means using our memories in very different ways from what we've been accustomed to. It means searching through our history to find our talents, strengths and even lost potential, even if we have to sort through pounds of dysfunction. It means searching our past for what is right about our selves, not for what is wrong.

Case Vignette
Stacie had very negative feelings toward her mother and her aunt, who would both often put her down and criticize her. However, once she was well into her therapy, she began to enjoy sorting through her past, realizing that many of the talents and strengths she had acquired had been based either by example from these women, or by compensating for their deficits. By example, she had learned to sew, cook and have the best vegetable garden that anyone could imagine, even while working full time. By compensating, she learned to guard her tongue and never jump to criticize others. This latter capacity has served her well in her job, while the former gave her day-to-day pleasure in hobbies and in good food.

A Positive Activity for You
Pick a time period from earliest childhood to the present. Find a quiet spot, a quiet time, and begin to list the talents, strengths, coping skills and potential that you got and currently display from that time period. You may have to sort through disappointments and hurts, but you will still find a way to label what's right about yourself.

Take your time. Keep this list with you, and add to it over the next few weeks or even months. Read it again and again to reinforce within you what is right within you, rather than what is wrong.

Free Tele-class
Yes, the first free tele-class is really coming and it will focus on The Seven Gateways to Enchantment.  Rather than taking space in this e-mail newsletter, look for a separate invitation by the middle of January. I hope many of you will join me. It will be fabulous to hear your voices and be together!

How to Order Books, Audio Tapes and more
How about some autographed copies of 'Recipes for Enchantment' with a free copy of The Enchanted Self's paper newsletter and a bookmark? Perhaps you would be interested my first book, 'The Enchanted Self', which is also available on audio tape? Here are some ways to order:

Tip: When shopping online use keywords "recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.

E-group: Connect with others like you!
Find out "what's right with you--not what's wrong!" Come chat with other "Enchanted Self-ers" at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself.
Membership is free and you will have access to our on-line calendar, message board, chat room, and more. It's a great way to connect with others who are exploring, creating and sharing their own positive and satisfying lives. See you there!

Share Your Enchantment!
Share your positive stories and questions about enchantment with us and other Enchanted Self readers around the globe! Our mid-month e-letter focuses on YOU and reaches a subscriber list of almost 700 people from the US, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom, and many other countries! Please send stories, comments, and questions to encself@aol.com.

Quote of the Month
"People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy after."

-- Author Unknown

Blessing of the Month
May you find yourself filling this coming year with your essence of spirit combined with "a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cupful of humor."

There is something very exciting and adventurous about to go on in the land of Enchantment. I'll be sharing the adventure with you on my website, telling you how you can join in and providing clues and opportunities for various prizes. I hope you will share the adventures of the Enchanted Purses as they go around the world with me. Look for further details this month on my website.


Have an "enchanting" month. I wish you all many enchanted moments!


Forwarding & Reprinting
(C) 2000-2004 Copyright The Enchanted Self - All
rights reserved.

Please feel free to pass this issue on to someone who might enjoy it. The Enchanted Self Newsletter is copyrighted but may be quoted, reprinted, or distributed in whole or part without prior permission, provided the content is not changed and attribution is given including:

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein


I also encourage you to include this material in other publications, such as self-healing and professional psychology newsletters. However, I
do ask that you contact me beforehand for permission and send a sample issue.

To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - An Educational Approach to Positive Psychology, please contact me or visit my web site.