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Produced by Dr. Barbara Becker
Welcome to the mid-month publication of The Enchanted Self's e-newsletter! Each month I will focus on (and respond to) a question about enchantment and/or a reader's ideas on enchantment.
Question of the Month: How can we 'give' in this giving season? Is there a kind of gift that I can give that doesn't cost money?
By Dr. Barbara Becker
This is the second of a three-part series dedicated to making the most out of your present situation and giving the gifts of listening and sharing during the holiday season. In last month's mid-month issue I shared a wonderful story or 'present' from an old client of mine. Please stay with me, as next month we will look at more examples of 'presents in the present' and what we can learn from spending enchanted moments with others.
When I walk into the treatment room, I am always hopeful that I can offer a 'present' of some kind to my clients. Perhaps today I will be able to teach a skill that someone needs or reinforce permission to carry and develop a special dream. Perhaps today I will be able to 'be there' as someone tells an important narrative about her life or finally figures out why some aspect of daily life has been so distressing. And if I am really lucky, maybe we will be able to celebrate for the moment together the relief that comes with pain lifting and hope returning.
Every day that I can offer ways to help these very special, wonderful people feel better and be in less mental pain I am elated. This is my gift to hand out when I can all year long. As I mentioned in the first part of this discussion of 'presents' I am so often the recipient of 'presents' from my clients in many forms. They share their wonderment of the world, their knowledge, their courage and inspiration. I am indeed very fortunate.
What can I sum up about the gifts they give me and I give them? One thing I have learned is that a small gift can be a very precious gift. If I can relieve someone who is overburdened by giving them permission to be good to themselves, then this small gift can turn into a diamond.
I remember a client who was so distraught over difficult small children and a complex marriage. She didn't take time to take care of herself or provide any pleasure for herself. We worked on this for months and finally, she came back to me with my 'present'! She got it! She told me that she had suggested to her husband that he take the children and leave for a couple of hours. He got the message! Alone for two full hours, she lit candles, took a long bath and finally began the romance novel that had sat on her table for six months. She made some special phone calls and even ordered in supper by the time they came home. She felt so refreshed and uplifted! Now that she had finally taken some time for herself, long overdue, she felt confident that she would be able to do so again very soon. I was so happy as I listened. We were both smiling ear to ear.
So, you see, I learned that taking the time to teach my client about the importance of self-replenishment came back to both of us as a gift! She had her bubble bath and a special sense of positive entitlement and I had the pleasure of sharing in her news and knowing that positive action had really taken place!
What else have I learned? Of course, all the golden moments when my clients have found their enchanted moments have been gifts to me, but perhaps one of the most important things I have learned is the importance of the gift we can give ourselves of positive practice of behavior, both inside of our minds in terms of thoughts and in the world, as action. I am convinced that the old adage "practice, practice, practice" is necessary to experiencing a state of enchantment.
Remember when you were little. You might have heard a great violinist or seen a wonderful skater or dancer and think that it looked so easy! Then, your Mom would tell you how hard that person had worked to make the music, skating or dance seem so easy. Living a life of purpose, and feeling great at the same time, is similar--what ends up feeling so natural and wonderful both inside and out takes positive practice. It is hard work but you can end up receiving no better 'present' in life.
More next time!
Please give us the pleasure of sharing your responses. They may be posted on the web site or in future issues of the newsletter. You can also chat about this topic or create your own in The Enchanted Self e-group at the following URL: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself
Actually, I am trying very much to give away some real presents in my e-group. Of course, as any writer of a book desires, I wish to sell many copies of my new book, RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!. At the same time, I also truly wish for my little book to get out there, to get its wings and fly! To that end, I am giving away at least three copies of my book to people in my e-group who write to me and ask for a free book. All I ask is that they include their mailing address in an e mail message to me at email@example.com and once they have read the book they comment on it in the e-group.
Why don't you join my e-group and get a book for free? We have great discussions and it is a great way of creating positive community! I look forward to hearing from you!
Again, please join my e-group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself or if you are a member, just write to me for a free copy of my book.
Here are some ways to order RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! as well as THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy. If you order from my website I can send you autographed copies of my two books. I can also send your free Enchanted Self bookmarks and copies of my paper newsletter, THE ENCHANTED SELF. You can also order the audio edition of my first book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, via my web site.
Web Site: www.enchantedself.com/ordering1.htm
Call Toll Free: 1-877-B-JOYFUL
Barnes & Noble: www.bn.com
1stBooks: www.1stbooks.com (RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT E-book just $4.95!)
Tip: When shopping online use keywords "recipes for enchantment" and "enchanted self" to locate the books.
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Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
THE ENCHANTED SELF(R)
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To learn more about THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) - A State of Well Being, Joy, and Happiness, please contact me or visit my web site.