Favorite Blessing

May you always have the courage and heart to do good with or without clear reason. That way you never to wrestle with the traps of selfishness or greed!

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October 31, 2008 | Filed Under Blessings | Leave a Comment 

WE All NEED A DOSE OF INSPIRATION: The Hatpin

We all need a sense of wonder and mystery in our lives. Sometimes a fast paced adventure movie or a good mystery read will satisfy that urge inside of ourselves.  But sometimes we need to reach into the past and see that all through the centuries people have reported strange phenomenon, and of course, even miracles.  Even dire predictions have not always come true! Stories from the past where people overcame negative predictions, whether by what appeared to be a miracle or by sheer will, can revitalize us and give us hope.  And that is so important.  Every day we need to get our energies going again so that we have the motivation to make the best of ourselves and our day. Every day we need at least a small dose of inspiration.  Here is yours for today!  This dose of inspiration appears in my book, Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! 

Rabbi Akiva lived during the 12th century and was considered one of the great scholars and leaders in Judaism. He had a daughter, and on the day she was born, a soothsayer told him that she would die on her wedding day, bitten on the arm by a poisonous snake. This is as tragic a fate as anyone can imagine – raising a daughter while worrying that you will lose her on what should be the most beautiful day of her life. 

Rabbi Akiva decided not to believe the soothsayer, although he certainly thought about what she had said. But he trusted God, so he proceeded to make arrangements for his daughter’s wedding. A proper suitor was found, and the wedding day soon arrived. 

The daughter knew nothing of the strange prophecy, but she did have a terrible headache that day. Finally, unable to bear the headdress she was wearing, she took it off and absently stuck the large hatpin that held it into the edge of a curtain in her bedroom. Immediately, shaking and hissing sounds seemed to emanate from behind the curtain, but the daughter had already left the room. 

The marriage ceremony took place as scheduled, followed by a daylong celebration and feast – and, indeed, to Rabbi Akiva’s great relief, his daughter remained alive and well. The next day, the daughter remembered the hatpin and sent a servant to retrieve it from the curtain. As he wrenched it free, to his amazement, the servant heard a loud thud, as if something had fallen to the floor. Upon investigation, he discovered a poisonous dead snake on the floor behind the curtain. It bore a fatal wound along its side, apparently from being stabbed by the daughter’s hatpin. 

How Can You Relate To This Story? 

I remember when my ballet teacher predicted to my mother that I would be too tall to become a professional dancer. Her prediction crushed my dreams in an instant. Now I would never become a professional dancer. I put aside my toe shoes and stifled my dreams. How ironic, given the fact that by the time I was an adult, many professional dancers were my height of 5′ 8″ or even taller. 

Can you think of a time when a prediction got you in trouble? (Perhaps you became frightened or gave up on something?) 

Did you ever feel you had been protected, or saved from harm, as Rabbi Akiva’s daughter was from a disaster? Tell the story.

Have you ever been able to override a prediction given to you, by sheer will, prayer, or belief in yourself? Tell the story.  Comment here or write to me at drbarbara@enchantedself.com to tell your story.

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October 24, 2008 | Filed Under Fond Memories that Enhance Happy Feelings, Positive use of Memory, Recipe for Enchantment, The Enchanted Self, Wisdom Thoughts | Leave a Comment 

Favorite Blessing

May you always find ways to give and take from life and others so that you continue to overflow with delight. Then you certainly will have the blessing of renewed energy, and you will be most satisfied with whatever you are able to do in you lifetime.

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October 24, 2008 | Filed Under Blessings | Leave a Comment 

Favorite Blessing

Even after a bad night, may you always awaken to a world that reminds you by your first cup of coffee that you are loved and blessed with special gifts. My you realize by the time that you get into your car or do your first chore that your personal treasures never get old or out of date. By the time you go to bed that night, may you be blessed with a delicious night’s rest and the optimism and well being that comes with contentment.

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October 17, 2008 | Filed Under Blessings | Leave a Comment 

Wisdom Secrets to Happiness Brought to you by The Enchanted Self

If we can find the wisdom secrets to happiness, and we can also learn how to integrate them into our lives, how to practice them, find the recipes that go with them and stir that wonderful pot, we can end up much happier.

 

                     We do know as women that happiness is sometimes something we’re chasing like a donkey with a carrot in front of him on a stick.  We often feel that we don’t catch up with happiness.  We’re exhausted, we’re drained, we’re trying to please others.

 

                     So, happiness sometimes eludes us.  It’s like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  Sometimes we feel as if we never get to the pot.  And that, to me, as a Positive Psychologist, is a very despairing part of being a woman.  Because we are entitled to live a positive life, a life of happiness, meaning and purpose where we are able to recapture the best essence of ourselves, our talents and potential, learn how to weave our capacities  in a magical way into new fabric, new yarn and new stories for our lives every day.

 

                     That’s why I call my positive psychology The Enchanted Self ®.   Because there always is some magic in pulling together the best of ourselves, integrating it with the world as the world presents itself to us, and moving forward and experiencing that wonderful feeling, that sense of well-being that can only come when we’re in stride with ourselves and we’re feeling contented, feeling happy about what we’re doing.

 

            What do you think some of the wisdom secrets for women are?  I’ll share more next time, but I really want your ideas on the subject also.  Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein    (Some of this was taken from a podcast on Happiness for Women Only.  All are archived on www.internetvoicesradio.com at my page which houses Happiness for Women Only and Kids, Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three. 

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October 16, 2008 | Filed Under Dr. Holstein's Podcast Archives, Positive Psychology for Women, Positive Psychology, Kids, Tweens and Teens, Positive use of Memory, The Enchanted Self, Wisdom Thoughts, Women's Happiness | Leave a Comment 

Favorite Blessing

“May your memories always assist you in enjoying each day to the fullest as you layer your life with your own uniqueness of action, feelings and other capacities for delight! Remember, each day has its own set of thoughts, words and deeds. Live in tune”
…Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

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October 10, 2008 | Filed Under Blessings | Leave a Comment 

The Power of Being Enchanted!

Listen to the Power of Being Enchanted. Thank you Zev Saftlas of www.empoweringmessages.com for permission to post this to my blog.

October 9, 2008 | Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

The Pleasures of Making Grandma's Memories My Own

Each season requires special behaviors and activities on our part to optimize for ourselves living a purposeful and happy life. We actually have to practice our positive emotions, just as the champion tennis player practices her swing. We have to try to use our mental capacities as fully as possible, our cognitive capacities for thought, and our emotional capacity to practice positive feelings and emotions. Actually, if we allow it, the seasons help us to live a full and meaningful life. The seasons even give us the ‘recipes for happiness’ that we can cook up if we just look around us and recognize what each time of year has to offer.

For example, autumn is a season of memory for most of us. Most people have attended the next grade in school growing up, as the first years begin to fall. For myself, not only do the turning leaves, the sight of a pumpkin, and the fresh, crisp, clear smell of a cool day conjure up positive memories of childhood, but symbols tied into traditions also inspire me. For many, the major symbols of a fall holiday are not until Halloween pumpkins begin to appear. But for those of us who are Jewish, the traditional symbols of our fall holidays almost always stir up good feelings and memories. In my case, I’m talking about positive memories that were not personally mine, but nevertheless I lived through them by my grandmother’s telling me of her childhood.

Every year I would make my grandmother tell me about the Sukkots they had when she was growing up in Chelsea, Massachusetts. The Sukkah is a hut or a room where the roof can be partly opened so that you can see the sky and the stars. Sukkots go back to biblical times. For the Jews, they represent memories of their wandering through the desert protected by clouds of glory.

My grandmother was the oldest of nine. They lived in a lovely home that my great-grandfather had built. Her best friend built the house next door, and it was a mirror image of my great-grandfather Isaac’s home! Every fall when it was time for Sukkot, an eight-day festival, my great-grandfather would roll back a tin ceiling that was attached to a pulley system in the kitchen. Once that was rolled back, branches were laid across the open space, and the children would hang vegetables and fruits from the branches. And so their Sukkah was created.

For my grandmother, it was a happy time, a week filled with treats and special delicious foods, like honey and apples, and sharing her father’s lap with one or two other children. She always looked happy when she talked about her Sukkah.

I grew up in the modem era. My parents moved away from these traditions, and I hadn’t even had the experience of walking into a Sukkah. However, there was something powerful and magnetic about my grandmother’s memories. In a sense, they were transferred to me as beacons of light of things I had yet to experience.

For many years, our neighbors and our family have built a little Sukkah. It has three sides with an open roof. The boys go across to the lake and find bamboo branches, and we string them up and then hang decorations. We’ve had friends over, as well as my parents, and we sit outside in the mellow autumn evening. One day as the Sukkot was drawing to a close, I sat alone one afternoon having a cup of coffee in the Sukkah. The weather was glorious, and everything around me seemed to be in perfect harmony. I felt so close to my grandmother and her memories. Her positive memories had finally come to fruition. I thought, “Look Grandma, I’m really sitting in a Sukkah!”

It’s important to realize that we have access to many positive memories, not only those that we ourselves have experienced. Our minds are magical and can take the happiness and stories of others and build from them, if we give ourselves half a chance.

Take a few moments and, instead of perhaps feeling sad or disappointed for something you never got to experience yourself in your life, think about a wonderful experience that someone else told you about. See if you can let their positive memories find a home in your memory bank.

Happy sharing of positive memories!

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October 7, 2008 | Filed Under Fond Memories that Enhance Happy Feelings, Inspirational True Stories, Positive use of Memory, Recipe For Happiness, Women's Happiness | Leave a Comment 

Podcast – From Girlhood to Seniors

A wonderful discussion reviewing women’s stage of life from girlhood to seniors!

Download the Mp3 (Right-click and choose “Save Target As…”)

In this week’s podcast I review all the stages of a woman’s life and how we can assure ourselves of happiness in each stage. The show is from the archives of Happiness for Women Only!, my radio show on Internet Voices Radio. Martha Trowbridge, expert in inspiring women, even those who have suffered trauma, is with me as my co-host.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach

New Book: The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

732-571-1200-office
732-571-1100-fax
Official Guide for Positive Psychology on www.selfgrowth.com
Radio show: Kids, Tweens and Teens archived on www.internetvoicesradio.com

October 7, 2008 | Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

Favorite Blessing

May you find your won stride, ride your own
house, move to your own tune, sing your own
song, and above all love who you really are..
A one of a kind special offering to
this world, never to be repeated.

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October 3, 2008 | Filed Under Blessings | Leave a Comment 

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