I want to share with you just how excited I am about Monday’s radio show guest, Vanessa Van Petten, on my radio show, Kids Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three, on www.internetvoicesradio.com at 4:30PM, EDT, Monday March 31st.. Vanessa is the author of You’re Grounded!: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier. This insightful young author shares parenting advice from a teen’s perspective. 

http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=00133T79ZC6Hbb7V2In8uctsVZR_6HxeMdNUSSQWR5XJ5H69-ZbNf2Y1W5d_JVkahnAQvfpBXfYhWXPYhJWH8T7ceU32dDsC6g8PNqe8Z_ZRB_xFCOLf5cuCKCOv99vDjpe5hxDy4OW18HMjk_J8M7O_50RN8U5CJTIp6Zu4_fVsZM5B_A-j7OUpG_oTxJ3pydxPbpG5zU8M3TcJ_VpreA1G5cEYYkqNvP_5dToilTeHpupeVaB3FqwfI4ZgrqOrtBKPsPnVo1zHKZVnmn5wdPzmTBMSa2M_mjAEov3DeEfdDw-LFPyHrh2Sqh0zJBmbm3SOl2Bqx4nGahQwZvIgIegAfid5AqbNhAtj1MolfOUQDDQDURuUcNvDMX5j2PD1ucBIW9XeocORgINJdy6wEeF3snNX2H4fv9GL5vqF893ld4IxvEBohw8hwKllI_QLEh75Qpf4Zd2kEmaB-SSxXctTZiCWb9POQTt2FB3mab6258=It is her mission to improve parent-teen relationships by providing them with new perspectives, stories and neutral places to communicate. Thus helping families instill values and build strong relationships that promote healthy attitudes and lifestyle behaviors in this generation of young adults. And just as important she wants to help provide positive role models for young people.

Vanessa shares on her website:

"As a senior in High School, I conducted hundreds of interviews to write "You’re Grounded!" as a practical, succinct and realistic guide for both parents and teenagers to read simultaneously. The book not only gives parents and teens strategies to develop their relationship, but also helps them with issues in their individual everyday lives such as cliques, bullying, managing the household chores and finding positive extracurricular activities."

You must tune in Monday for my radio show, when I talk with this insightful and motivated young woman. I know the show will prove to be a wonderful one.  We will also be discussing and comparing my new book, The Truth, I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything with Vanessa’s book. You can listen to us on www.internetvoicesradio.com, Monday, March 31, 2008 at 4:30pm EDT.  And it will be archived 24/7 if you miss it.

You can find Vanessa’s book on Amazon – You’re Grounded: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier. Be sure to make purchasing this book a priority. I know this will be exactly what every parent of tweens and teens needs to help pave a smoother road for them and their children.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

www. enchantedself.com

March 30, 2008 | Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

Children Are So Precious and See With a Purity We Have Lost

I saw a sign that summed up some of my feelings about children.  It said, "There are many earth angels in the form of children."  How true.  In so many ways Our children are our witnesses to ourselves.  They help us see if we let them, what is right and what is wrong.  What is worth remembering and what is trivial.  They know what is a waste of time and what is worthwhile.  They know when we lie and when we try to get away with things.  Let’s celebrate our children and let them help return to the essence of what is best and most rejoicing about ourselves.  After all, we were all children also. 

I wrote the above a couple of years ago but it is just as true today.  The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is my book that as a teacher, school psychologist, positive psychologist, women, and once a kid, I have published since the above remarks.  Now I can say with pleasure, that the ‘girl’ in the book, even better than I was able to say it, gives us the above message.  I’m proud of her.  She has wisdom and depth even beyond mine.  I guess I’m a proud ‘parent’. 

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com

March 28, 2008 | Filed Under The Truth, I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything | Leave a Comment 

A Blessing to End the Work Week

May you never fall behind the important tasks in your life
May you be able to let go of the ones that don’t need to be done
And may you celebrate with friends and loved ones a week well spent!
We all need to feel good about ourselves.  Sometimes that means feeling we look good.  Sometimes it means feeling satisfied with the way we are eating, or getting along with our spouse.  And sometimes it just means feeling that we can stay on top of all our chores and responsibilities.  All are realistic needs that I take into account, as a positive psychologist.  I have them and probably you do, also! 
Celebrate your life every chance you can get.  You’re doing a great job in what can be a tough world!  Give yourself a break this weekend.  You’ll feel so much better when the alarm goes off on Monday morning!
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
www.enchantedself.com

March 27, 2008 | Filed Under Blessings | Leave a Comment 

The Truth (I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything)

The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) has so many topics embedded into it for mothers and daughters and anyone who has walked the path of growing up as a girl that I hardly know which to pick.  Let’s look at purity of heart.
Purity of heart is in my opinion as a woman, a positive psychologist and having been a girl, is a special vision that we often have in childhood.  It is not just seeing with our eyes.  It is a sixth sense combined with tender feelings and acute awareness of our surroundings.

For example, when Laura Engals describes to us the way she ran through the prairie grass and looked up into the sky to follow hawks and looked at the starts at night while her father played the fiddle, her words evoke a purity of heart sensation in even adults.  She was able as a writer to create the whole atmosphere of her life on the prairie so that we feel something new and fresh and yet eternal as we read The Little House on The Prairie.

In The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) I have tried to capture the same sense of purity of heart.  When the ‘girl’ is upset when her cousin swears it isn’t because she is making a moral judgment.  It is because the swear words just feel bad as they hit her across the room.  And when she dances with her mother up in the bedroom to rock and roll music, the relief of connecting with her mom and the pleasure of moving, laughing and hugging together is all there is.  This is the moment and it is pure. 
Purity of heart is a clean feeling and when we have purity of heart moments we can feel cleansed and delighted at the same time.  Or if they are upsetting moments, as when the ‘girl’s’ cousin swore at least she knew he was not right and there was some relief just in the expression of her emotions.
As a positive psychologist I wanted to incorporate purity of heart into The Truth as we at all ages need to remember the intense pure feelings of childhood, both for ourselves and for the next generation.  We need to remember them for ourselves so we can go there once again and experience the sweetness and passion that goes with really being alive, not just sleepwalking as sometimes we do as grown-ups.  And for the next generation’s sake we need to remember because we need to connect with our children and grandchildren and we need to reassure them and help validate for them that their emotions are not only pure but often more in tune with what is right that we are.  Aging is not necessarily becoming emotionally more astute.  Aging can sometimes just be aging.

The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) has many themes and one of them is most certainly don’t sleepwalk.  Stay alive as you age and let the kids you know refresh you as well as the kid you was were.  After all, she is still inside of you!  I promise and that’s the truth!
 
 

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach
www.enchantedself.com

The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

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March 23, 2008 | Filed Under The Truth, I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything | Leave a Comment 

An Indian Elder Knows What Is Real. Do You?

Another psychologist and analyst passed this along to me.  Here are a few lines from a poem written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, May 1994.  She didn’t seem to need much from our world.  But I can say that we sure need a lot of help from her world!

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
     and if you dare to meet your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
     for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
      if you have been opened by life’s betrayals,
      or become shriveled and closed from fear of future pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, min or your own,
      Without moving to hid it or fade it or fix it……

I’ll be back with more of her poetry,

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
www.enchantedself.com
The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)

March 23, 2008 | Filed Under Positive Psychology | Leave a Comment 

Live Like a Star-Hiring Your Own Paparazzi

This morning on the NBC Early Morning Show there was a segment on how people are hiring their own Paparazzi to hastle them as they come out of a restaurant or elsewhere. It makes them feel like a star. This is a strange commentary on human psychology! Why not feel like a star because you are acting in such a way as to naturally feel good? For example, take Malock who just wrote A Life Of Giving. She feels like a star naturally as she gives to others every day. And the irony is that she got to be a star. She is now on Oprah’s Big Gift helping to give away money and gifts. What a win-win story.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
www.enchantedself.com

March 20, 2008 | Filed Under Positive Psychology | Leave a Comment 

I'm Impressed: Sondra Clark, 77Creative Ways Kids Can Serve

Last Friday, March 14, 2008 I had the pleasure of interviewing 18 year old Sondra Clark on my radio show, Kids, Tweens and Teens, A Positive Psychologist Looks at All Three. This show is archived on www.internetvoicesradio.com Sondra has been writing books since she was 8. That alone, would make her exceptional. However, what is even more fascinating is that so much of her work is the kind of outreach work that people three times her age are involved in. She volunteers and she teaches other kids how to find ways to volunteer and to be good citizens. For example, take a look at her new book, 77 Creative Ways Kids can Serve. Her ideas are wonderful. How about “Preparing Birthday Bags for Kids in Shelters”? It is a great idea. Or “Promote Senior Computer Skills”? Another great idea as kids know so much more than we do about computers.

It was my pleasure to interview her and learn more of her upbringing, adventures, plans and ideas. I hope you will listen to the show and get to know Sondra, also. She is a special young woman.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
www.enchantedself.com
www.internetvoicesradio.com

March 17, 2008 | Filed Under Positive Psychology, Kids, Tweens and Teens | Leave a Comment 

The Harder I Work, The Luckier I Get!

The Harder I Work, The Luckier I Get!  I think there is a lot of wisdom in that phrase.  Wisdom that we should be passing on to kids, tweens and teens.  As a positive psychologist, and author of The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m ten and I know everything) I know only too well that lots of people suffer in life because they haven’t learned and practiced the skills they need to succeed.  It is great to have a dream. But it is even better to be developing the skills that can make the dream come true.  You know how they say it looks so easy to be a ballet dancer, or concert pianist.  Well, we also all know how deceiving looks can be.  Have you ever tried to stand on your toes?  Or played the piano without lessons?  It is very hard.

So be a good mentor to someone else or yourself.  Get the right information to succeed in whatever you are doing or encouraging someone else to do.  See what education, training, mentoring, advice, skills, tools, etc. are involved and help either your dreams or someone else’s dreams come true.  And guess what?  You will have good luck!

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com

March 14, 2008 | Filed Under Positive Psychology, Kids, Tweens and Teens | Leave a Comment 

The Daring Book For Girls

I thought you might relate to the review I just did on Amazon for The Daring Book For Girls.  After all, we are all still ‘girls’ or ‘boys’ somewhere inside of ourselves.  Our youngster days don’t just disappear.  They may fade a little, but the energy and fun in those days is still a gift to ourselves if we wish to partake of it.  And I Do!  The girl in The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) is one way back that I have created.  She opens the memory banks for many women and helps them to get infused with their own earlier energies.  Of course kids, teens and tweens love the book because it authenticates and documents the energies and wisdom they already have.

Let me share the review with you now.  Have you read The Daring Book for Girls?  What do you think?  Write to me.

As a Positive Psychologist, I’m all in favor of this book for girls. It talks, shares and teaches about so many of the subjects that girls want to know more about. For example, Double Dutch Jump Rope, How to Tie a Sari, Every Girl’s Toolbox, Joan of Arc, Making a willow Whistle, and Sleep Outs, and even Boys. Here is a quote from the Boy’s section: "Wherever you fall on the specturm of how you feel about boys, do treat all your friends, boys and girls, with kindness. This has gone out of fashion and that’s a sad mistake."

Oh, who am I kidding, I loved this book because I am me, a woman who still has a daring girl inside of her! I want to Jump Rope (the knee-I have to be careful, though.) I want to learn how to tie a Sari and really know how to use tools and learn about famous women through the ages and have maybe not sleep outs but pajama parties with women friends once in awhile and leave the men at home. Did I say, men? Yes, let’s treat them with respect! That is good advice at any age.

Whatever your age, this book will make you want to do and learn and have fun. It will infuse you with energy and your daring side will come to life. I say read it whether you are 8 or 98! I dare you!

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com

March 13, 2008 | Filed Under Books | Leave a Comment 

Crushes, We all have had them

As most of my readers know, I’m a positive psychologist.  I’m fascinated with lots of the universal struggles that most of us seem to go through.  One that I find repeated again and again is the secret crush that tweens and teens often have.  Almost everyone has been there and it can be very exciting but also very painful.  Whenever I do a workshop women in the audience always have their stories to tell about early crushes and the fun, adventures and sometimes misadventures that happened. In my new book, The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything) the girl is very involved in her head and her heart with her crush.  It is much more major than her mother wants it to be and it takes over a lot of her inner life.  The girl can hardly concentrate on her school work when she thinks about Paul and she can’t imagine growing up and not marrying him.  One of the themes in this book is how the girl finally comes to terms with her crush, as she must.  Have you had an early crush? Can you share the story about your early crush? Are there other books out there that have a main character that is a tween or young teen with a crush?  What are they and did you enjoy the book? Let’s chat about this subject. 
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com 

March 11, 2008 | Filed Under The Truth, I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything | Leave a Comment 

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