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Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self. She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts since 1981.
Family Relationship Award of Excellence
My Books
Secrets: You Tell Me Yours and I’ll Tell You Mine…maybe!
Following on the heels of the best-selling book, The Truth, SECRETS is the continuing diary of a girl moving into her teen-age years. The Girl has plenty to fill her journal. The pages reveal a new school, a new baby in the family, new friends, a new guy and a new set of issues to face. Share the secret world of an almost-teen as she learns which secrets to share and which to keep to herself.
Download an excerpt of Secrets here.
THE TRUTH: I'm a Girl, I'm Smart and I Know Everything!
In the mothers' and daughters' version, this girl encapsulates the spark and energy that your daughter has inside of her, and that you had inside of yourself as a girl. It is this special capacity for fun and wisdom that we need to protect in our girls and get back to ourselves!
Let's rejoice in the girl inside of ourselves. Let's give courage and affirmation to our daughters and granddaughters so they know from the inside out, it is ok, in fact, essential to keep her alive, as they grow up.
The Truth, I'm 10, I'm Smart & I Know Everything.
The adult women's version is a delightful, humorous secret diary, written by a girl who is 10-11 years of age. She is wise and yet so innocent. She makes us cry and laugh and remember ourselves. Behind this very easy read is the psychological message to the women reading THE TRUTH that they can and must recapture the fire and passion of their girlhoods not only for themselves to flourish and be happy, but for the next generation to also have the gifts of good emotional and spiritual health.
This book is filled with emotional and delightful reminiscences that will charm you even as you are inspired to begin thinking of your own ways to bring delight into your hearts.
A collection of stories that is guaranteed to make you Feel Good. Click on the title to find out about the free gifts you will receive or here to learn more about the stories.
Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! is a culmination of over ten years of work and research in the field of personal enchantment by Dr. Barbara. She teaches us how to recall positive memories, regardless of our history, recognize our potential, and bring into our lives more of what gives us pleasure and joy. This is all combined with daily positive actions.
The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy
Through my work as a therapist, I have become concerned that we do not keep clearly enough how to reclaim what is positive about ourselves. This led me to write my book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, published in 1997 by Harwood Academic Press. This book was probably the first and only book for mental health care providers and the interested public, to lay out the tools necessary to create a positive mind set and live an affirmative and affirming way of life!
Using Our Memories for Rediscovering the Positive in Ourselves
Here is another exercise that involves making positive deposits into your memory bank:
Over the next few days, stay alert to the moments when you are in a good mood. When the moment is right ask yourself the following questions. What is going on? Does it remind you of other good times in your life? Can you list several of these earlier events? What were the best parts of these earlier experiences?
Now gradually refocus your mind on the present. What are you seeing? What are the smells? What are the sounds? How do these sensations make you feel? Be aware of the details, taking the time to savor them as you deposit them into your memory bank. If writing a narrative does not come easily to you, try drawing a picture, writing a poem, or composing a tune. Just do something to capture the moment in a way that is most meaningful to you. Your abilities as an artist, writer, or composer are less important than your desire to relish life Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com .
Teach Him To Fish and He Will Have Food for A Lifetime!
They say that if you give a person a fish, he will have food for one day. If you teach him how to fish he will have food for a lifetime! So when we think of Recipes for Enchantment, remember the more that a Recipe becomes a part of you rather than just a stimulant from someone else, the more often you can get back to pleasurable states of being. That’s why I think one of the first Recipes for Enchantment that I shared with you is still one of the best. It is so personal and easy that you can quickly use it again and again. Remember, we have to practice six or seven times before something begins to be part of us! Here it is once again, to enjoy and practice.
1 Tbsp. of Hope
1 Cup of Positive Memories sifted & separated from negative memories
1 Lost Dream
Add: A Dash of Spice unique to you
Simmer as long as necessary.
When ready, activate and enjoy.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
What is THE ENCHANTED SELF?
Q: Barbara, tell us what THE ENCHANTED SELF® is and how it ties into women, most particularly to women in the business world. (The full interview of which this is one part, can be read on www.fodreams.com
A: Well, Deb, that’s certainly an all encompassing question! Let me start by breaking my answer up into several easy to process parts:
THE ENCHANTED SELF is the name that we’ve given to express the special part of ourselves that recognizes pleasure, knows when things feel right, and knows when we are on the right course in life. For generations this aspect of ourselves has remained without a name. We have of course talked about being happy, feeling refreshed, feeling full of purpose, or feeling whole, and we’ve also used different expressions to talk about this part of ourselves. However, there has never before been an umbrella expression that immediately cues women in to that special, wondrous part of ourselves which we have notoriously overlooked, disregarded or dismissed. And this is aspect is an important part of our makeup.
Don’t forget that as women we are basically caretakers, no matter what other professional roles we take on in life. So often whether raising children, helping elderly parents, taking care of domestic chores, or whatever, we give of ourselves, and give and give. Even when we are tired, depleted, or blue, we still continue to give. We deserve to recognize the "Enchanted" part of ourselves that is unique and wonderful, and to be able to call upon it to make ourselves feel better, either on an ongoing basis, or in times of need.
As THE ENCHANTED SELF began to increase in usage and make its way around the world, women have thanked me: "How wonderful it is to have a label for this special part of me!" — or "Being able to identify my Enchanted Self causes me to have fewer times when I forsake it." Or, especially, "Being able to access my Enchanted Self gives me the strength and ability to go on with my life, to please myself as well as others!"
As a psychologist, I’m thrilled that as women we have a better shot at honoring ourselves and ensuring that we stay replenished, capable of experiencing joy and building pleasure into our lives. We deserve these experiences not only because they feel good, but because they fuel our energy tank, causing us to remain replenished and less prone to blue moments
Abraham Lincoln and Living a Life
Abraham Lincoln said, "It’s not the years in your life, it is the life in your years." What a wonderful comment. May we all be able to put lots of life into every secon of our lives!
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
Gratitude Verses Positive Action as a Path to Happiness
Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach, www.enchantedself.com
What got me started on this subject is a wonderful blog at www.donotgrievealone.com
A New Year’s Resolution-Listen
My father was once walking down the street. A man said, "Hello, Harry. How are you?"
My dad, Dr. Happy A. Becker, replied, "Not so good. My mother died last week."
The other man said, "Good, glad to hear it."
The other man did not listen. Let’s all try to listen this year. It is important!
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
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Inspirational Celebrity and Book Reviews
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9:30 a.m. & 3:30 p.m. cst