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Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self. She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts since 1981.
Family Relationship Award of Excellence
My Books
Secrets: You Tell Me Yours and I’ll Tell You Mine…maybe!
Following on the heels of the best-selling book, The Truth, SECRETS is the continuing diary of a girl moving into her teen-age years. The Girl has plenty to fill her journal. The pages reveal a new school, a new baby in the family, new friends, a new guy and a new set of issues to face. Share the secret world of an almost-teen as she learns which secrets to share and which to keep to herself.
Download an excerpt of Secrets here.
THE TRUTH: I'm a Girl, I'm Smart and I Know Everything!
In the mothers' and daughters' version, this girl encapsulates the spark and energy that your daughter has inside of her, and that you had inside of yourself as a girl. It is this special capacity for fun and wisdom that we need to protect in our girls and get back to ourselves!
Let's rejoice in the girl inside of ourselves. Let's give courage and affirmation to our daughters and granddaughters so they know from the inside out, it is ok, in fact, essential to keep her alive, as they grow up.
The Truth, I'm 10, I'm Smart & I Know Everything.
The adult women's version is a delightful, humorous secret diary, written by a girl who is 10-11 years of age. She is wise and yet so innocent. She makes us cry and laugh and remember ourselves. Behind this very easy read is the psychological message to the women reading THE TRUTH that they can and must recapture the fire and passion of their girlhoods not only for themselves to flourish and be happy, but for the next generation to also have the gifts of good emotional and spiritual health.
This book is filled with emotional and delightful reminiscences that will charm you even as you are inspired to begin thinking of your own ways to bring delight into your hearts.
A collection of stories that is guaranteed to make you Feel Good. Click on the title to find out about the free gifts you will receive or here to learn more about the stories.
Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! is a culmination of over ten years of work and research in the field of personal enchantment by Dr. Barbara. She teaches us how to recall positive memories, regardless of our history, recognize our potential, and bring into our lives more of what gives us pleasure and joy. This is all combined with daily positive actions.
The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy
Through my work as a therapist, I have become concerned that we do not keep clearly enough how to reclaim what is positive about ourselves. This led me to write my book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, published in 1997 by Harwood Academic Press. This book was probably the first and only book for mental health care providers and the interested public, to lay out the tools necessary to create a positive mind set and live an affirmative and affirming way of life!
The Truth (I am 10, I am Smart and I know everything)”
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein discuss her book "The Truth (I am 10, I am Smart and I know everything)"
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Nancy Drew and YOU and THE TRUTH by Barbara Becker Holstein
If you are at all like many girls and women in the United States, Nancy Drew served as an important figure in your life at one time or another. For me, she was VERY important when I was nine, ten, and even eleven. I would wait with high anticipation if I knew my mother was coming home from shopping and might have a new Nancy Drew book with her. If she did, my next week was sure to be close to heaven. I would have a mystery to solve along with Nancy and all the positively luscious feelings of excitement I would be bound to feel as I accompanied her on her newest adventure. Forget her close buddies, they were only silly girls. I was dedicated, as she to solviing mysteries, and I was there for her. Oh, it was a wonderful adventure-whatever it was. And when it came to an end I had a let down that could only be compensated in one way-a long bike ride and the beginning alure of the next Nancy Drew book.
I think that Nancy Drew was an important icon figure to me because in terms of Positve Psychology, she gave me hope. She validated that I was smart. After all, I figured out at least some of the mysteries before she did. She gave me a sense of competency. If she could do it, so could I. I just hadn’t had the right opportunity yet, so for now I accompanied her.
She reinforced my strengths and interests. I could figure people out. I could travel, if only my parents would let me. I could act very grown-up and be a leader. After all, I was on the Student Council. Yes, everything about her was affirming to me. Even her boyfriend gave me hope that someday I would have a boyfriend just as nice and kind and loving, In fact, Nancy Drew was probably the best therapy I had in my life from the ages of 9-11. And she didn’t even know she was a Positive Psychologist!
So, how was Nancy Drew for you? Please write and share with me.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist, www.enchantedself.com .
Nancy Drew movie coming soon-June 15th!
Nancy Drew is a great gal. She is pretty and smart and she knows exactly what she is doing. She has a boyfriend but she never lets him boss her around. She wears pretty clothes but is not a show off. She is too busy solving MYSTERIES! What a great way to live as a teenager-loved by her dad, best friends, a wonderful home, a boyfriend, and a passionate way of living that doesn’t involve early pregnancy, street drugs or other problems.
The girl in my new book, THE TRUTH, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything! loves Nancy Drew. In fact she wants very much to follow in her footsteps-living a clean life, full of adventure and mystery. And why shouldn’t she? She realizes she is smart-after all she often solves Nancy’s mysteries before she does. She realizes that teenagers can be obsessed with other agendas and she wants to stay pure.
Didn’t we all want to at some point? Didn’t we all make promises about how we would live when… ? Maybe it is time to go to the movies, see Nancy Drew again, and honor some of our promises? Or if you prefer, read The Truth! Either way the passionate and committed girl inside of you will be aroused again.
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
Giving Names to Our Happy Times
Rabbi Pliskin in one of his messages suggests giving names to our positive states of being so we can remember them more easily later. I think this is a great idea. In fact, that is the main reason that I came up with the title, THE ENCHANTED SELF, so women would begin to recognize when they are happy and call it by a name, THE ENCHANTED SELF, so they would not let these times just slip by. And it has worked very well. Women write to me and tell me that they had an Enchanted Self moment today and then recount a wonderful way that they felt or something special that happened.
However, it is a good idea to take it even further as Rabbi Pliskin suggests. Thus today I was remembering how great I felt the day I was taking some of my Enchanted Self cable tv shows over to Cablevision so they could be shown in Monmouth County. It was a beautiful spring day. I felt very alive and healthy and I was listening to a wonderful mystery tape in the car. It was a Faye Kellerman mystery and I was so enjoying it. I remember thinking that this was a special day. I was relaxed. I was proud of myself, having a local tv cable show. And the girl who had loved Nancy Drew was now a woman still enjoying a great mystery. So I have decided to call that day my Enchanted Self Faye Kellerman Day. And I believe it will be easier to remember it and savor it again.
Why don’t you try to name your special times? I hope you will use the term Enchanted Self, but whether you do or not, the important thing is that you give them names that you can recall easily. That way, anytime you need to be cheered up or you just want to get even more pleasure out of the moment, you can call up your own Enchanted Self moments.
Let me know how it goes! All my best, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist, www.enchantedself.com
The Flavors of Our Lives and How It Pertains to Our Personal Truth
I was leading a discussion with a group of women. The topic was my new book, THE TRUTH, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything. I was reading excerpts to the ladies and the topic of the Flavors of Our Lives came up. The woman who brought it up put it this way: the girl in the book certainly knows what the truth is for her. Yet we all have an unique sense of what the truth is and what feels right. How does that come to be? She was suggesting that it is based on so many uniquely individual aspects of our childhoods. We each have a different constellation of attitudes in the family, beliefs, traditions and of course, our ethnicity and our religion. And all these things plus the ways that our families did things, whether simple everyday things like eating meals, or big things like a holiday, leave imprints or ‘flavors’ in our minds. Thus when we smell a certain smell, or hear a particular song of a bird, or feel the breeze against us in a certain way, it is already layered with not only the present conditions in our lives but the 100′s and 1000′s of flavors that make up a life.
What do you think of this idea? Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
The Turth, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything by Barbara Becker Holstein
You are the first to know! My new book has been printed and is ready for YOU to read. I hope you will. I’m very excited and had to tell you even though it is 11:02PM here in New Jersey. Please take a minute to read excerpts from it at my site, www.enchantedself.com
I’ll be back soon. . Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
I find THE TRUTH in a 5 and 10 cent store
I was about ten or eleven and my magic journey was a bus that took me downtown Bridgeport. In my new book, THE TRUTH, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything! the girl knows exactly what I am trying to recapture in the following vinette. Can you recognize yourself in it? Also, did you like Nancy Drew? Tell me your story. Write to me at www.enchantedself.com or drbarbara@enchantedself.com Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Here is my memory:
The first part of the magic journey was just waiting for the bus all by myself. I felt very grown-up and by today’s standards I was! I would lock the house, put my key on a string around my neck, hide it, and walk the two blocks to wait by the telephone pole for the bus. When the public bus came I got on, said "Hello" to the driver–who I recognized from lots of trips–paid and sat down. I always sat up front, liking to be near him, just in case I needed help. Then I would read. Usually I had a great book with me, maybe Little House on the Prairie or Nancy Drew. Whatever it was, time flew and before I knew it, I was stepping off the bus on Main Street.
The downtown streets of Bridgeport seemed so busy and crowded! I was not afraid though. I knew my destination. Inside of my pocket I clutched my few dollars and made straight for my enchanted castle. There it was–the 5 and 10-cent store in all of its glory! A perfect palace! I had a wonderful food counter with stools that swirled around if I was hungry. I could just hop up and order anything I wanted–an ice cream soda or a hamburger. I had a bathroom so I didn’t need to feel desperate, and I had this whole glorious store to walk around. The endless aisles with the glass counters just full of items to touch and dream about! There was a make-up aisle and I could imagine ahead a few years. I loved to look at the colors of make-up and especially the lipsticks. How would I look all dolled up–beautiful, yes? Then there was the pocketbook and wallet aisle. That was fun, and the candy aisle and even house-wares was interesting.
But the best aisle, and my purpose in this exploration of enchantment, was to the fabric aisle. Oh, the bolts of fabric were so wonderful. If only I had a ton of money and a real grown-up sewing machine I could make such wonderful clothes. I would design them myself and everyone would love them, but I had only a couple of dollars and just a tiny hand cranked sewing machine. Still I was in paradise. "I will take a quarter of a yard of this soft velvet-maroon and a yard of this lace trim, please. And may I have 1 quarter of a yard of this soft fake white fur? Oh, I am so excited." A very nice lady put them all into a paper bag. I told her I was making a new winter outfit for my doll. She even threw in a package of buttons for trim. I was so lucky!
Sadly, my money was almost gone and the bus was coming. I left my enchanted castle of 5 and 10-cent wonders. I felt so enriched inside–another successful journey into the big world and a package of wonders to further play with when I got home. Life was good and I now looked forward to a few more pages of Nancy Drew on the way home!
The Truth, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I Know Everything! by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Dear Friends, I want to announce my new book to all of you,The Truth, I’m Ten, I’m Smart and I know Everything! I should have copies in hand by next week. I’m very excited. This is my fourth book and each time has been an adventure-not only in writing the book but in getting it read by others. Because in reality, having the book read is the driving force of creation in the medium of words. This little book is my special treasure house of wisdom and fun. I love the book because I got a chance to capture the greatest, fun-loving, smartest little girl that is in all of us and I got her out of the box, again. She is alive and well and has a lot to say to us. Please go to my website www.enchantedself.com for further information, excerpts and to order the book. I can’t wait for YOU to read it and share your thoughts and ideas with me. If you have a book club and can recommend the book to the club, I’ll come and speak to all of you, either on a speaker phone or on a bridge line. I can’t wait! All my best, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
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