Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self. She has been a positive psychologist in private practice and licensed in the states of New Jersey and Massachusetts since 1981.
Seven Gateways to Happiness for Us Women!
1. Discover and honor your talents, strengths, coping skills and potential
2. Love the story of your live and find ways to fall in love with who you are
3. Learn how to get your needs met
4. Take time to replenish, to enjoy life, and to find meaning and purpose everyday
5. Belong and don't isolate
6. Be a mentor and find mentors
7. Live generously. Do positive actions and good deeds
For those of you not that familiar with The Enchanted Self, and those of you that are, sit back and enjoy me sharing what The Enchanted Self is with Thor the Barbarian. This is a great show!
Dr. Barbara's Happiness for Women Only Radio Series
Listen to the Radio Show Archives
The Happiness for Women Only! series focuses on different age groups as seen below. We take a look at happiness as viewed through the lenses of The Seven Gateways to Happiness.
Dr. Barbara hosts this series, accompanied by her two outstanding guests: Dr. Sandra Prince-Embury, nationally know resiliency expert and author of The Resiliency Scales for Children and Adolescents and Martha Trowbridge, author of books on Inspiration For Women in Crisis.
"Getting to The Truth and More!" (20-35)
"Women and Wisdom Gathering" (Ages 36-49)
"Welcome the Enchanted AARP Woman!" (Ages 50 plus)
A wonderful discussion for all age groups!
My Books
THE TRUTH: I'm a Girl, I'm Smart and I Know Everything!
In the mothers' and daughters' version, this girl encapsulates the spark and energy that your daughter has inside of her, and that you had inside of yourself as a girl. It is this special capacity for fun and wisdom that we need to protect in our girls and get back to ourselves!
Let's rejoice in the girl inside of ourselves. Let's give courage and affirmation to our daughters and granddaughters so they know from the inside out, it is ok, in fact, essential to keep her alive, as they grow up.
The Truth, I'm 10, I'm Smart & I Know Everything.
The adult women's version is a delightful, humorous secret diary, written by a girl who is 10-11 years of age. She is wise and yet so innocent. She makes us cry and laugh and remember ourselves. Behind this very easy read is the psychological message to the women reading THE TRUTH that they can and must recapture the fire and passion of their girlhoods not only for themselves to flourish and be happy, but for the next generation to also have the gifts of good emotional and spiritual health.
This book is filled with emotional and delightful reminiscences that will charm you even as you are inspired to begin thinking of your own ways to bring delight into your hearts.
A collection of stories that is guaranteed to make you Feel Good. Click on the title to find out about the free gifts you will receive or here to learn more about the stories.
Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! is a culmination of over ten years of work and research in the field of personal enchantment by Dr. Barbara. She teaches us how to recall positive memories, regardless of our history, recognize our potential, and bring into our lives more of what gives us pleasure and joy. This is all combined with daily positive actions.
The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy
Through my work as a therapist, I have become concerned that we do not keep clearly enough how to reclaim what is positive about ourselves. This led me to write my book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, published in 1997 by Harwood Academic Press. This book was probably the first and only book for mental health care providers and the interested public, to lay out the tools necessary to create a positive mind set and live an affirmative and affirming way of life!
Gateway Five: Coming Home or Going Away, Finding Tribes in Which to Belong – Part Two of Two
In first part we discussed how critical it is to belong to groups as well as how to find groups that meet our needs. In this section we will look at a Case Vignette to give you a good example of how one woman found a group that she needed. We will also explore a positive activity which will help you discover what types of groups you need in your own life.
Gateway Five: Coming Home or Going Away, Finding Tribes in Which to Belong – Part One
All of us find ourselves automatically belonging to certain groups. There’s the family we’re born into, the family we may have created through marriage, and all sorts of other groups going on in our lives: PTA groups, office colleagues and church affiliations, etc.
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Hi again from Dr. Barbara Holstein
This is a great place to communicate. I am a Positive Psychologist with several self-help books as well as an academic book in my field. My first book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy really got me going. This was my brainchild of early mid-life-based on interviewing women not in my practice and discovering an Aha! insight that led to this book. I discovered that women have a larger capacity for pleasure and joy that we usually assume. We are too bogged down in noticing what is not right in our lives or what our own personal failings are! Well, I could go on for a long time. Just let me say that we can help ourselves. We can recognize what is right about ourselves, rather than what is wrong! I am now working on my fifth book! Hope to continue! For those who don’t know me, I suggest going to www.enchantedself.com
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Gateway Four: Replenishment – Truly Coming Home to Our Enchanted Self
Replenishment, joy, pleasure and delight are all parts of truly coming home to our Enchanted Selves. If any gateway is the pivotal gateway for a woman, it is this gateway. This is the gateway that we must return to above all others, as frequently as possible. It is where we fuel up, where we energize. It is where we fill ourselves again so that we can meet the needs of others, be the caretakers of the world, bring up our children, spend time with the elderly, and do the hundreds of womanly tasks that we do, including having a full time job and running a home.
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Inspirational Remarks
Chofetz Chaim, a wonderful Jewish teacher, told others that he initially wanted to change the world, but found he couldn’t. Then he wanted to change his family, but he couldn’t. Finally he realized that he could only work on himself! And he did. He spent years studying the negative effects of gossip and hurtful talk and trained himself not to do any of it. And do you know what happened? His teaching on this subject spread far and wide and now he has influenced much of the world! People all over study his wise words around gossip and practice his approach to speaking of others in positive ways.
Gateway Three: Learning to Meet Our Needs and Negotiate Successfully
There’s nothing more demoralizing than a woman who does not know how to speak up for herself, who doesn’t have a voice for herself. When we feel ignored or not understood, we can feel rage and anger building.
So often as women we find ourselves in a predicament where we don’t know how to speak up. We simply don’t know how to negotiate for what we want. While sometimes it’s a cultural attitude that we’ve taken on, for instance that women should be demure, quiet, and modest, often it’s due to a lack of understanding the appropriate skill-set necessary for negotiating effectively. All of these factors put a tremendous pressure on our true capacities. Our future happiness or fulfillment is restricted simply because we don’t know the right road to get there.
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Hi to all my Enchanted friends
In this world of fast paced communications, it’s very easy to become sidetracked when it comes to finding our Enchanted Self. We are constantly bombarded with images from TV, radio, magazines and newspapers telling us what to wear, how we should look and smell, or what car to drive. According to these outside options, if we follow their plan then we should be happy, right? Wrong! When we place our lives in the hands of others we lose the magical, potential for happiness that exists within each of us. I wrote the above as part of an article. What do you think about my remarks? Do you think it is better to design a life that truly takes you into account from the inside out? Let me know. All my best, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, www.enchantedself.com
Gateway Two: Falling in Love with Ourselves
This is an extremely important gateway. This gateway is achieved after we have made efforts to reclaim and honor our talents, capacities, strengths, lost potential and coping skills.
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A Gift from Mother – By Ellen Saposnik
When she was alive, my mother indulged my passion for collecting teddy bears. What began as an innocent purchase of one old-fashioned teddy 18 years ago has blossomed into a collection of more than 300 bears.
A few weeks ago, while wandering through a favorite local store, a Hanukkah bear caught my eye, and I cradled him in my arms. I peeked at the tag, $26.99. I did not buy the bear then, but tucked the idea in the back of my mind. A week or so later, my husband Steven said, “Look what I brought home from your parents’ house.” He showed me a small wooden cigar box with the last bit of my mother’s mahjongg and canasta money. There was $24 in bills and another $6 or $7 in change. That was my mother telling me from across the great beyond that she wanted me to have that bear for my birthday.
I got that bear and cradled him into my arms and into my heart. No one can convince me that it was a coincidence. It was my dearest mother letting me know she’s watching over me. What a wonderful gift we shared throughout her life and we still share it today.
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THE TRUTH: I'm a Girl, I'm Smart and I Know Everything!
- THE ENCHANTED SELF PART OF OURSELVES-FIND IT! (PART ONE)
- I recently found an excerpt from The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy. This section reveals the way that I initially began to reclaim my own Enchanted Self:
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Daughters' and Moms' edition: The Truth, I'm 10, I'm Smart & I Know Everything
Adult Women's Edition
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